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Julie Hambleton
Julie Hambleton
January 5, 2024 ·  4 min read

10 Signs You Are a Sapiosexual

Are you someone who finds intelligence and the mind to be incredibly attractive? Do deep, intellectual conversations stimulate you more than physical appearance? If so, you might be a sapiosexual. A sapiosexual is someone who is primarily attracted to intelligence and the intellect of others. While physical attraction may still play a role, it is the intellectual connection that truly ignites their desire. If you’re still unsure about your sapiosexual nature, here are 10 signs that might indicate you are one

10 Signs You Are A Sapiosexual

While most people can’t date someone they are unable to have stimulating conversations with, being a sapiosexual is another step above this. Sapiosexuals are those who can’t even entertain the idea of a casual hookup with someone whose mind doesn’t draw them in. In fact, a sapiosexual is more likely to have even casual relationships with those who are perhaps less attractive physically but who stimulate them intellectually. These are ten signs that you might be a sapiosexual. (1, 2

Read: 10 things you need to know if you have a Scorpio in your life

1. Intellectual stimulation is your biggest turn-on

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One of the most prominent signs that you are a sapiosexual is that intellectual stimulation is your biggest turn-on. You find conversations based on profound ideas, theories, and philosophical concepts highly arousing. These experiences leave an indescribable feeling of attraction for you towards that person, far more than looks, sense of humor, or anything else does.

2. You prioritize a person’s intellect over their outer appearances

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For a sapiosexual, the physical appearance of a person holds much less importance compared to their intelligence. While physical chemistry might still be intriguing, the intellectual connection keeps you invested in a relationship. This can be seen as a positive thing, as looks will always fade far faster than the mind.

3. You are attracted to a person’s vocabulary and language skills

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If you find yourself drawn towards people with an extensive vocabulary and excellent language skills, it is a strong sign of being a sapiosexual. How someone uses words, their eloquence, and their ability to express complex ideas captivate you more than anything else. You’ve got no time for grammar errors and people who are unable to use the correct there, their, or they’re

4. Intellectual banter makes you weak in the knees

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Engaging in witty and passionate debates is something you thoroughly enjoy. The ability of someone to hold an intellectual banter, challenge your ideas, and offer new perspectives is incredibly appealing to you. It excites you and stimulates you mentally. You know that you can have rousing debates with this person and that they will keep you on your toes.

5. You value intelligence above traditional measures of success

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Material wealth or societal status is less significant to you than intellectual achievements. Someone with a brilliant mind and a penchant for learning will catch your attention more than someone with a high-paying job or an impressive job title. However, be careful to ensure you do not entangle yourself with someone with serious financial problems. While money isn’t everything, and everyone can come across hard times, financial literacy and sufficiency are still important.

Related: 11 Traits Of People With High Emotional Intelligence

6. Books and knowledge are your biggest turn-ons

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You often find yourself attracted to people with a voracious appetite for reading and learning. Seeing someone with a stack of books or engaging in conversations about various topics excites you on a whole different level. Knowing that you could spend the day together simply reading is a beautiful image for you.

7. You appreciate intellectual diversity

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Sapiosexuals tend to have a deep appreciation for a wide range of intellectual pursuits. Whether it’s art, science, literature, or history, you find value in intellectual diversity. You are open to exploring different fields of knowledge and appreciate the unique perspectives that individuals from various disciplines offer. Your ideal partner will teach you new perspectives and new information, and vice versa.

8. Intelligence is a prerequisite for a deep emotional connection

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You struggle to form deep, emotional connections with people who lack intellectual curiosity or depth. The ability to engage in meaningful discussions and share intellectual interests is essential for you to establish a strong emotional bond. Small talk has never been your thing – you want to get right into big topics and complex ideologies and see how someone thinks.

9. You are attracted to authenticity and vulnerability

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Don’t get it twisted – being a sapiosexual doesn’t mean you are attracted to a Know-It-All. While intellect is crucial, sapiosexuals also find vulnerability and authenticity attractive. The willingness to be open about one’s intellectual limitations or to express curiosity about new subjects ignites a deeper connection and further enhances the appeal. 

10. Emotions and intellect go hand in hand for you

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As a sapiosexual, you understand that emotions and intellect are intertwined. You appreciate the intellectual depth in emotional connections, and it is the fusion of both that creates the ultimate attraction for you.

Read: 5 Reasons Why Highly Intelligent People Often Have a Messy House

The Bottom Line

Being a sapiosexual means finding intelligence and intellectual connection to be the primary factor in attraction. While physical attributes might initially catch your attention, it is the depth of the mind that truly stimulates you. If you resonate with the signs mentioned above, it’s likely that you are indeed a sapiosexual. Embrace your unique attraction and seek partners who can spark your intellectual curiosity and share in your thirst for knowledge.

Keep Reading: 10 things you need to know if you have a Scorpio in your life


  1. What It Means to Be Sapiosexual.” Psych Central. Kate Bettino. October 13, 2021.
  2. Sapiosexuality: What Attracts You to a Sexual Partner?Psychology Today. Diana Raab Ph.D. August 26, 2014.