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Julie Hambleton
Julie Hambleton
February 8, 2024 ·  4 min read

Man breaks down five-year relationship that fell apart by sharing most-used words in texts for each year

Breakups are never easy and everyone processes them in their own way. Some hit the gym to go after the so-called “revenge body”. Others go the opposite route and drown themselves in ice cream and binge watch old TV shows. This man, however, had a unique approach. He decided to mine the data of he and his recent ex’s text messages over the course of their five year relationship. He then shared on Reddit the most frequently used words for each year of their relationship. This is what he found.

Man Looks At Most Common Text Messages Between He and His Ex of Five Years

There are plenty of reasons why relationships end. Communication is often a major factor in the breakdown of relationships. This man decided to look at the text messages between him and his ex-girlfriend, who had been together for five years and lived together for some of that time. He mined the data and created graphics with the most commonly-used words for each of their five year relationship. (1)

Year One: We Met Online

The first year of their relationship he captioned “we met online”. Texts in this year were reasonably light-hearted and mostly had to do with meeting up for dates etc, as you would expect in the first year of a relationship. The most common words were “good”, “haha”, “weekend”, “okay”, and “food”. These can be expected as probably most of their time spent together was on the weekends and likely often centered around getting something to eat.

Year Two: We Moved In Together

Evidently the first year of the relationship had gone well enough that the couple had decided to move in together. The most common words were still “haha”, “good”, and “okay”, but another word had taken one of the top spots: “baby”. This can be expected as they were likely referring to each other with great affection. Some second-tier words that you can see are “home” and “room”, and others included “amazon”, “watch” and “movie”, as well as “love”.

Year Three: Bliss

He called year three “bliss”, which clearly indicates that this was one of the best years of the couple’s relationship.”Okay” was still the most commonly-used word, but still ever-´present were words like “baby”, “good”, “home”, and “love”. You can tell that this was a couple very much in love.

Year Four: We Got Engaged

The title of year four of this relationship clearly shows that, at this point, the couple had forever on their minds. “Baby” was still there, though not as prominently as some other words such as “okay”, “just”, “good”, “yeah”, and “haha”. “Love” also can still be seen, but also was less prominent than before.

Year Five: She Demanded a Third Move Then Kicked Me Out

There wasn’t much context given here and it certainly seems like quite a 180 from getting engaged the year before. Most-used words were still “okay”, “just”, “yeah”, and “good”. Other words included “nice”, “morning”, “going”, “home”, “love”, “sure”, “know”, “time”, “think”, “want”, “back”, “baby”, and “oh”. Even from these messages, it’s hard to glean what the cause of the (seemingly) sudden flip was.

An Explanation

In the comments section of the post, a user asked the OP (original poster) why, exactly, had the couple broken up. OP responded with more information. Firstly, he started by saying that he mis-named some of the slides. Turns out, “Bliss” wasn’t as picture-perfect as it seemed.

“In Year 3 (“Bliss”), she started fighting with my family over perceived slights. We almost broke up but we worked through it.”

While he may have thought that they had worked through that, it became clear that she had not gotten over the situation. She made them move for a third time, moving the couple even further away from OP’s family and friends. He was working from home, far away from loved ones, and not in a good mental state. Despite all of this, she broke up with him and kicked him out. He says he moved in with family, but the couple was still trying to work it out.

“Two months later, my dad had a massive stroke. She wasn’t there for me. She didn’t even try to show up for me and take part in any events. Yet she showed up late to the funeral and refused to offer condolences to my family,” OP explained. “Then the next day, she called me and tried to get me to cut off my grieving family for good. That’s when I knew she and I were done for good.”

Texting Is Tough

Texting is often misconstrued because you can’t accurately read tone or intent from just typed messages. It makes it worse when people refuse to have important conversations in person rather than over text. These people all have gone through some difficult breakups over text, where their significant other refused to entertain the idea of having those difficult conversations in person, or at least on a video call.

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  1. Texts of a five year relationship, year by year [OC].” Reddit. July 2023.

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