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Jade Small
Jade Small
December 22, 2023 ·  4 min read

10 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone An Explanation For

It doesn’t matter what the situation is, there is someone, somewhere who feels entitled to an explanation from you. And guess what? You don’t owe anyone an explanation, especially for these 10 things listed below.

The Things You Enjoy

What is it that brings a genuine smile to your face? Is it the smell of an old book, the pages musty with wisdom and age? Maybe it’s the sound of the violin being played at 3 am while your neighbor practices Vivaldi’s concertos. Maybe it’s walking through the forest after a spring rain or spending time with dogs, cats, or horses.

Some people don’t like the same things you like, and they will let you know just how much they don’t like them. They’ll meet you with confrontational questions and passive-aggressive remarks like “how can you like that?” And they can keep wondering because you don’t owe anyone an explanation of what brings you joy and why it makes you happy.

The Things You Dislike

Just like the things you enjoy, you also don’t owe anyone an explanation for the things you dislike. No one except you has lived through the experiences you have been through, and therefore, no one will be able to know why you may feel the way you do about certain things. Being afraid of heights, not liking the taste of certain foods, not enjoying being around crowds- it’ all makes up who you are, and your real friends value those traits instead of asking you to define and explain them.

Back view of anonymous female in black headwear standing on rocky ground against coniferous forest during sunset time in nature

You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation for The Way You Look

Your physical appearance is something you never owe anyone an explanation for, ever. It doesn’t matter if you have one body shape or another, or if you have scars, or if you have fewer fingers or toes than most other people. Maybe you have green hair, or tattoos, or 100 piercings on your face. None of that defines you as a person, and none of that is what truly matters about someone. So why should any of those things require an explanation?

Your Choices

We have all been there. Your friends tell you to do one thing, and you do another. They can’t understand why on earth you wouldn’t listen to them. Well, they don’t need to understand because they are not you; they are not living your life in your shoes. Sure, those four little words of doom can cross their lips in the future, but “I told you so” usually goes hand in hand with hindsight. And a nice glass of wine. Which is more bearable than owing someone an explanation of your adult choices.

Being Tired

No one is allowed to be exhausted or tired. Everyone must always be happy, positive, perky, and ready to do whatever the world needs of them, right? Actually, no. Not at all. 

The world is constantly asking a million things of you and from you. You are absolutely allowed to be tired, and furthermore, you are allowed to rest. Those who choose not to do either of those things, well, that’s their decision, but your feelings are valid even if others don’t see that.

Your Beliefs

Do you believe in ghosts? Fairies? Certain religions? Political parties you favor? Of course, you have beliefs, we all do. You will meet people who will question your beliefs and ask you why you believe them – why don’t you believe what they believe? Usually, this is coupled with personal attacks or toxic verbal assaults, because some adults never learned to have conversations like an adult. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you believe, or why you believe it. No one is entitled to know where your personal compass points.

Woman with arms outstretched standing on coast of lake

You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation for Past Painful Experiences

When we go through something painful, we should be allowed to grieve and process our emotions even if others might not understand. Everyone heals differently and at a different pace. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you “haven’t gotten over it yet.

Saying ‘No’

‘No’ is a complete sentence. It requires nothing more, and it’s a healthy part of creating boundaries.

Saying ‘Yes’

‘Why did you agree to do that? Why did you say yes?’ Why does it matter?  Sometimes, saying ‘yes’ to something we normally wouldn’t dare think of is a way to let ourselves experience a bit of freedom- an escape from our everyday routine. No one really needs to know why you believe ‘yes’ was the right answer. They just need to support you and watch you blossom into the person you hope to become.


Just as ‘yes,’ and ‘no’ are complete sentences, so is silence. If it gets to the point where silence is your only option, if it’s the choice that makes sense to you, then go with silence. People will try to force an argument out of you or start a blame game situation, but you don’t have to respond. Sometimes not responding is all we feel like we can do. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your silence, especially someone on the outside who isn’t privy to your everyday life. 

You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation

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