Toxic people can be found anywhere, and some of their tactics are so sneaky, you don’t realize the damage has been done until it’s too late.
Chances are, you know a few toxic people. The way they make you feel when they are around…it’s unpleasant and you can’t help but perceive something is off.
Toxic people never come out and declare their toxicity- in fact, most would deny ever being such a thing. So, you need to make yourself aware of the warning signs.
If you recognize these signs, you’re best bet is to cut ties, and stop giving them so much of your time and energy. You’ll feel better in the long run, even if it’s difficult at first.
1- They always have a criticism or a negative response to your accomplishments.
If you find yourself not wanting to share your good news with someone because you just know they’ll say something mean or unnecessary, they are probably toxic. Your real friends will always support you in reaching your goals, or accomplishments. Anyone who makes you feel bad for doing something good is a problem.
Remember that even though a toxic person speaks words of blame or criticism toward you, the reason behind their behavior has nothing to do with you.
2- They will ruin any expectations you have.
Don’t expect them to be different or cooperate. Don’t expect them to apologize. Don’t expect them to see you for who you are. Don’t expect them to use a civil tone. Don’t look to them to help you feel good about yourself.
There is something you must remember: just because you would do something for someone does not mean they would do the same for you.
3- They are always negative.
Not an exaggeration, these toxic types always have something negative to say. If you try telling them it’s a nice day outside, or you’re happy they found a new apartment, or you’re glad the weekend is here, they will respond with a myriad of reasons why non of those things are good. And on top of it all, they’ll try to make you feel as crappy as they do by dragging you down to their miserable level.
Maybe you can imagine holding a shield in front of you like a Wonder Woman character and their criticism just bounces off the shield. Maybe you can imagine a glass cone or rays of white light surrounding protecting you from the toxic person. Crossing your ankles and your arms can be a physical reminder of keeping their negative energy out of your energy field.
4- They will never accept responsibility, admit their mistakes, or apologize. They will never change.
And you don’t need to change them. Even if toxic people don’t seem to be aware of their impact on other people, their behavior limits their happiness and fulfillment in some part of their life. It could be derailing their career or leading to loneliness in personal relationships. Trust me – it’s showing up somewhere in their life.
Be thankful that you may have only limited interactions with them, while they have to live with themselves all day, every day.
5- They will try to trigger you into a fight.
Choose your battles. Decide where to draw your boundaries. There are some situations when you’ll want to stand your ground with the toxic person. And there are other situations where it’s a wasteful leak of your power to devote any energy to them.
The most important thing to remember when dealing with a toxic person is this: if you want to win, don’t play their game.