Urgh… Narcissists! We’ve all had to deal with at least one in our lifetimes. They can be exhausting and downright mean most of the time. So, in the case, you are currently facing a narcissist and you’re determined not to back down once again, you might need to come prepared. Arming yourself with the right responses can help you maintain your sanity and shut down the narcissist’s manipulative tactics. In this article, we’ll explore 11 effective comebacks that can help you take control of conversations with narcissists and assert your boundaries.
1. “You’re Angry, And It’s Not My Problem
Narcissists have a tendency to use whomever they are talking to as punching bags for their emotions. They are insecure people, so they like to raise their voices so they are louder. Thus, they put themselves on a higher level than you, at least in their own eyes. This statement puts you on even ground and sets a clear boundary. It shows them what you are not willing to tolerate.
2. Tell the Narcissist, “I Don’t Fall for Empty Promises“
A narcissist will try their best to win you, especially in the beginning. Once you spot the narcissistic red flags, you must make it known that a false or empty promise is not how you work. They will need to prove themselves to you with actual gestures.
3. “You’re Interrupting Again“
At least 90% of the time, a narcissist is unaware they keep interrupting you. They are determined to get their point across and will stop at nothing to do so even if it means cutting you short. This is because they can’t comprehend what others have to say. They are irrational at best. So, you will have to be the big person and remind them they are interrupting.
Read: How Narcissists Play the Victim and Twist the Story
4. Say to Them, “I Will Decide For Myself“
Control is one of a narcissist’s favorite things to have. They feel insecure if they are not making all the decisions, and they will belittle you until you eventually give in. Don’t. You are the only one who can choose what you want to do. So, when you find your narcissistic friend or partner is trying to tell you what to wear or what food to order, tell them you will make your own decisions.
5. Tell the Narcissist, “I Understand How You Feel”
Fueling the argument with more retorts is a way to empower a narcissist. They want you to react so that you look like a fool. So, do not give in to their anger. Tell them you understand their feelings, but refrain from arguing further. This will shut them down almost immediately.
6. “Don’t shout at Me”
The idea here is that you’re bringing the argument down from a raging battle to a reasonable debate. From there, you can use point 5 to shut the argument down.
7. “How You Feel About Me is Out of My Control”
Consider this your golden principle: Their emotions are their domain, and your reactions remain steady as a rock. This declaration also reinforces the notion that you steer your ship while they navigate theirs, firmly establishing that you won’t shoulder the burden of their emotional tides.
8. Remind the Narcissist, “It’s Going to Be Okay”
When a narcissist is spiraling, they might need a reminder that all is well. This simple little phrase is powerful for anyone who is feeling emotionally wild. But in particular, narcissists have no sense of self-awareness. Which means they have no ability to self-regulate.
9. “Stop changing the Topic, Please”
When a narcissist is losing the debate, they would rather change the topic than admit defeat. They like to think that controlling the conversation is their right. Bringing their attention to the subject under discussion helps you maintain your stance. Whenever there’s an important matter to address, ensure that it remains the focus.
10. Tell the Narcissist, “I’m Not Scared of You“
Fear is their game, and intimidation is their game. However, you do not have to let the narcissist put you down; it is your right to rise above that behavior. Continuously make it clear that their attempts do not faze you and that their presence is of little concern.
11. Say, “Hell No!“
If all else fails, just tell them a resounding “no.” This will surely give the narcissist a shock to the system because they are not accustomed to being refused. Always remember that you are never obligated to do what they say all the time.
Keep Reading: These are the 7 things that terrify narcissists to their core
Sources
- “16 Phrases to Disarm a Narcissist.” Choosing Therapy. Silvi Saxena. December 28, 2021
- “35 Phrases To Disarm a Narcissist and Why They Do the Trick, According to Therapists.” Parade. Shelbi Deering. Apr 23, 2023
- “Use These 30+ Phrases To Disarm A Narcissist When You Can’t Avoid Them. Scary Mommy. December 13, 2021.