Falling in love with someone can be a long game. Most of us believe that we deserve the love that we get and that it would stay for a long period of time. But that is hardly the case on a number of occasions. The base reality is that things don’t happen the way we expect them to, and relationships do end up breaking- whether it be after a month, or after a decade.
One time, a husband decided to end his marriage with his wife after being with her for 7 years. For that, he believed that writing a divorce letter would do the trick, rather than having a conversation face to face. However, he could have never realized that this very decision backfired on him heavily- for his wife’s reply taught him a lesson that he would never forget.
Let’s see the divorce letter that the husband sent the wife. While we can’t 100% verify if this is real, its still pretty darn good.
Husband Decides The Best Way To Go About A Divorce Would Be Through A Divorce Letter
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore and you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!”
Whatever the case, there was no reason to write a divorce letter which was obviously so spiteful. So, why should the soon-to-be ex-wife let it slide? She, too, wrote a letter of her own, which was hilarious, and quite humiliating.
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work. I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!”
Aw, snap! Well, looks like the ex-husband might be ruing his decision now. But on the other hand, he could be in love with his ex-wife’s sister. All in all, this is some drama to unfold. And let’s be honest, doesn’t this sound a little too convenient? The ex-wife wins the Lotto the exact day he writes her a divorce letter. Also, which marriage is so cold that people don’t even talk to each other and simply write letters to each other? Finally, who is the ex-wife writing a letter to? Her ex-husband doesn’t stay with her anymore!
Read: Those Who Grew Up In Divorced Homes Love Differently Than The Rest Of The World
The Internet Talk About The Ridiculous Divorces They Have Handled
Interestingly, not all divorces end up through divorce letters. Some divorce lawyers, or so they claim to be, had a lot of ridiculous cases. Here are a few choice ones that appeared on Reddit:
1. “I had a couple arguing for three hours over who got the kids on Christmas day, only to discover at the end that they were both Jewish,” wrote user u/msc2436.
2. u/ammjh mentioned, “Took the couple two hours to decide who would get the groceries left in the fridge. Estimated value of the groceries was around $40. Two hours of my time, opposing counsel time, and mediator time added up to about $1,000. It all came down to a Costco/Sam’s Club-sized jar of peanut butter. (Who keeps peanut butter in the fridge?!)”
3. u/spaceflunky quipped, “My dad was a divorce attorney for some time. He said people would argue over $150 patio furniture for hours on end at a $300/hour rate (each side). It’s not about the patio furniture, it’s about sending a message to your b*tch of an ex-husband/wife.”
4. u/TheNightWitch had an interesting story told to her by one of her lawyer boyfriends. “I dated a divorce lawyer and my favorite story from his work was the man who was super pissed that the division of assets was 50/50 and that his wife’s lawyer had a forensic accountant who found his multiple offshore money stashes. In retaliation, he demanded half the dog. Not joint custody. Half of the dog, who was his wife’s much beloved, very spoiled little buddy. He burned through thousands of dollars of legal fees just to make her cry, by demanding that the dog be put to sleep and its ashes split, 50/50. People are delightful!”
5. u/JournalofFailure mentioned, “I had a case where the estranged wife was calling my client’s employer repeatedly, accusing him of theft and other white-collar crimes, [in an attempt] to get my client fired. The thing is, the children were with her, and she was also demanding child support. Which is based on his income. For the job from which she was trying to get him fired. (Fortunately, the employer was onto her BS and my client wasn’t let go.)”
6. u/FattyBinz wrote, “I was in a mediation where it took the couple an hour and a half to split their personal property, retirement accounts, real property, and custody of their six-month-old son. The rest of the day, about four hours, was spent arguing about how to split the time with the dog. For the kid they just put, ‘as agreed upon by the parties’ but the dog had a strict calendar working out holidays and strict pickup/drop-off times. I was ashamed to be a part of that unbelievable display.”
So, what are your favorite divorce stories? Do they include divorce letters? Write to us in the comments!
Keep Reading: When a Woman is Done There is Nothing to Change Her Mind
- “9 Divorce Stories Too Ridiculous To Make Up.” Huffpost. March 21, 2014.
Attention: These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.