Life is too short for many things. But most of all, it’s too short to spend on the wrong people. Friendships make up a crucial part of us. Friends are the ones we turn to in good times and bad. They are the family we choose, and they provide us with joy, respect, love, and encouragement. Unfortunately, however, some friends do the opposite. Instead, they provide us with insecurities, fears, sadness, and resentment. More often than not, these bad friends take up way more energy than good friends. And life is too short to focus on people who are unworthy of your attention and love. If you have one of these toxic friends, it may be time to break up or drift away.
“Occasionally, friendships go sour, and it’s incredibly hard to cut off a friend, but keeping a toxic friend around is draining,” said Kailee Place, licensed professional counselor. “In the long run, it’s better to cut ties, and find people who appreciate and support you.”
“Life is too short to be unhappy.” ― Koena Mitra
Toxic friends tend to put down others — including you — to make themselves feel good. Now, a little good-natured teasing is normal in a healthy relationship. But when a friend demeans you, they are the only ones laughing. They may be subtle about it, and it could be difficult to understand exactly how they hurt your feelings. And when you try to confront them about it, they say it was a joke. But remember, if a friendship makes you feel miserable and insecure, it’s not a healthy one.
“Life is too short to be negative.” ― Virgil van Dijk
Some people are pessimistic by nature, but there’s a difference between pessimistic and negative. Pessimism may cause a person to be cautious and more supportive of friends approaching difficult times. Negative people, however, drain the joy and energy from people around them. It may be difficult to be around a person who only sees the bad and doesn’t care about trying to improve. Therefore, you need to look out for yourself in this situation and reduce the time you spend with these friends.
“I don’t have a bad relationship. I’m 48 years old. I think life is too short for that…” ― Jean-Claude Van Damme
Often, friends drift away and that’s okay. Life circumstances could change and people could change. Therefore, you may find that you and certain friends have nothing in common anymore. “You and a perfectly nice friend can just drift apart,” said Jill Whitney, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “You may have been close at one point in your lives, but now your paths have diverged so much that when you get together, it’s awkward.“
So you could save this relationship with some effort, but you may choose to invest your focus elsewhere.
“Life is too short to be in relationships where you feel this isn’t fully right.” ― Anna Faris
Friendship is a two-way street. If you feel like one relationship is consistently one-sided, that’s a bad sign. You shouldn’t have to chase or beg for a friend’s attention and time.
“If you’re pouring energy into someone who isn’t giving you the same treatment, it’s not a mutual friendship,” Place said. “If you are finding your friend only pops up when they need something or they are going through a hard time — but often go silent or provide very little in your time of need — it’s time to say bye to this friend.“
“There’s not enough time to be disrespecting… Life is too short.” ― Mary J. Blige
You should feel respected in a friendship. But this is impossible when a friend constantly ignores your feelings. They even may make you uncomfortable to bring up your concerns. Unfortunately, bumps happen in every relationship, and if one person shuts down the other, that’s a bad sign.
“An immature friend may say you’re wrong or overreacting,” Whitney said. “They may immediately turn the problem back on you and not own any part of it.” After all, a good friend cares about your feelings and will want to hear you out. “But friends who can’t have a balanced conversation about problems in your relationship may not be friends worth keeping.“
“Life is too short to waste on bulls***.” ― Steph Campbell
Many people go through phases when everything seems to happen to them at once. But some people never leave this phase. Their lives seem to be soap operas with constant drama and heartbreaks. No matter how much you want to help this person, they are not really interested in changing. They thrive in drama and chaos and often drag you down with them. They also tend to be self-absorbed and unreliable when it comes to helping and supporting you in return.
“Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don’t even deserve to be an issue in your life.” — Anonymous
Trust is vital for a friendship. But when a friend betrays you, that trust may not recover. “In friendships, there are minor and major betrayals that injure trust,” said Melody Li, an Austin-based licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist.
However, many people could heal from minor betrayals if the instigator is apologetic and actively trying to improve. “However, major betrayals — like seducing the friend’s significant other, cheating, or stealing money — are red flags,” Li said. “That relationship may not be worthwhile to reexplore at all.“
Keep Reading: The Only Way To Win With A Toxic Person Is Not To Play
- “9 signs it’s time to end a friendship, according to therapists.” Business Insider. Natalia Lusinski. December 9, 2018
- “In a Toxic Friendship? Here’s What to Look For (and How to Handle It).” Healthline. Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST. May 19, 2020
- “7 Types of Toxic Friends to Watch Out For.” Very Well Family. Sherri Gordon. November 17, 2020