Each of us has met a toxic person. This is simply unavoidable, as they tend to hide in plain sight! As a result, they don’t reveal their true nature until it’s too late and the damage is already done. We may try our best to avoid contact with them, but they always seem to find their way into our lives one way or another. One of the most astounding characteristics of a toxic person is that they have no remorse for any harm they have ever caused. At the same time, they never believe that they have a problem, even for a second. Don’t bother bringing it up under any circumstances because they are devoid of self-awareness and do not possess the tools to see that they are, in fact, sick from the pain and trauma they have suffered in their lives and need help desperately as a result.
Toxic people lack emotion
The emotional deficit that a toxic person feels inside without even knowing it becomes like a hole that they are endlessly trying to fill. This makes the person need validation constantly, and they don’t have the capacity to care where this comes from. It manifests in all manner of vices and addictive behavior patterns. These include but are not limited to substance abuse, violence, and material greed. However, the most socially acceptable and most damaging of all is that a toxic person will try to sustain this supply of constant validation through a controlling and high conflict relationship with another human being. These types of relationships can destroy lives, businesses, families, and friendships forever. There are no boundaries ever and no limit to the damage it can cause to all in its path.
Not only will being in a relationship like this isolate you completely from all the friends and family you were ever close to but, once the dust settles and the smoke has finally cleared, it can take years upon years to heal yourself from the damage. Conflict is the bread and butter of a toxic person. Always creating disagreements and spreading the mistrust and self-doubt that they themselves feel inside.
A toxic person is manipulative
They can be extremely charming and charismatic publicly, but this is all a rather grandiose charade to suck you in. They are highly manipulative and will mostly exhibit unhealthy behavior behind the closed doors of a relationship. In every single argument or disagreement, the toxic person will unfailingly single you out as the problem. Once you are under the control of a toxic person, you will constantly be made to feel like you are less than if you are around them often enough to let them really sink their claws in.
Toxic people will emotionally abuse and drain you
Being under the regime of an unrelenting cycle of invalidation is an extremely damaging form of emotional abuse. This conditioning is referred to by psychologists as gaslighting. Essentially, and after many years, you will even begin to believe that you are the sick person in the relationship. This may sound ridiculous, but it happens so slowly and meticulously that you won’t even notice how your reality and self-perception have completely shifted. A toxic person very often has a very distorted self-image. So, they are always placing themselves above others in their minds. So, for this reason, you will never resolve any issue you have by speaking to them.
Unfortunately, we live in a society where these narcissistic traits are not only tolerated, but they are even celebrated. You will always find a toxic person in a position of power where they can continue to feed themselves by inflicting harm on others. Very few will ever seek therapy for their own healing or growth. And, they will never ever apologize under any circumstances. Your best solution is to keep contact with them to an absolute minimum. And, if you believe you have some of the traits of a toxic person, please seek immediate psychological help. Healing yourself is the true answer, no matter what you may have been through.
- “Do’s and Don’ts for Dealing with Toxic Behavior.” Healthline. Crystal Raypole. November 20, 2019.
- “Dealing With Toxic People.” Psychology Today. Joseph H. Baskin M.D. May 29, 2019