The idea that we might need to live alone at some point probably seems scary to some. It’s easy to feel as though you have to rely on someone else in your living space in order to help you survive, keep you entertained, and keep you sane.
But then there are some who are clearly capable of living alone and thrive in doing so. They’re people who have learned to be comfortable with themselves and with the silence sometimes associated with leading a single, solitary existence. And not just survive it, but actually thrive and be truly happy.
If at least 5 out of these 6 traits sound like you, you probably have what it takes to live on your own.
You love yourself
If you’ve spent some time alone and really looked inward, you probably have a pretty good idea of who you are. And just as there are things about others that we would probably like to change, when you truly look at yourself, you find things you want to change. And if you look often, you’re highly motivated to change.
When you create in yourself the kind of person you truly want to be, you find yourself in love with, well, yourself! This makes so many things easier, like setting boundaries for yourself. And while we’re on that subject…
Your boundaries mean everything
Knowing where your boundaries are and how to enforce them is not something you’re born with but it’s something you learn. As parents, we should teach our kids that no means no and no is the final word on the matter, but sometimes kids don’t get that lesson and need to learn as adults.
If you know where your boundaries are and have no problem enforcing them, it’s a clear sign you have no problem with being on your own. And really, the skill of setting and enforcing boundaries could be a lifesaver one day. If you have trouble enforcing your boundaries, my best advice is to figure out how.
Intuitiveness is a survival instinct that has been dulled by modern life. We no longer walk through forests, jungles, and savannahs, requiring a keen eye and an apt gut in order to hunt, forage, flee, and survive. As a result, many have chosen to disregard their intuitiveness. But if you’re a strongly intuitive person, you know that this keen eye of yours can be utterly and completely exhausting. It’s a bit like introversion in a way – you need time to recharge, and you can set your intuition to bed for a while only when you’re on your own and no longer on your guard for predators and danger, or at least predatory and dangerous people. And when you live alone, that recharge time is easy to attain.
Your time is money
Something I learned as a single person that I forgot when I was in a relationship and cohabitating was just how valuable my time is. When you are with someone else and dependent upon them, the timeliness of action can leave a lot to be desired. You may find yourself waiting an extended period of time on your partner to get ready for an engagement or for a turn in the bathroom. If this sounds awful, you’re likely better off alone.
You aren’t a fan of drama
There are people out there who thrive on drama, and I really don’t get it. I, personally, lead a pretty rich inner and outer life. I have hobbies, I have books, I have friends and family I love, and I don’t have a whole lot of time for silly drama and gossip. My attitude has always been: if a person talks about someone behind their back to you, what are they saying about you to others? If you’re like me and you just don’t have the patience for that kind of thing, you’re probably born to live alone.
You know what you’re made of
Humans thrive as communities, but there is merit to rugged individualism. When you’re on your own and having to figure things out for yourself, you learn how to meet your edge and do whatever it takes to make it. And in doing so, you learn what you’re made of. When you know what you’re made of, what you bring to the table for yourself and others, you know what you’re worth.
When you know what you’re worth, it makes everything else on this list so much easier. It’s easier to love yourself. It’s easier to establish boundaries and maintain them. It’s easy to manage your time and rest your sharp intuition when you need to.
If you’re reading this because you’ve found yourself unexpectedly forced to live alone, don’t fret if any of these attributes don’t quite sound like you. I would never suggest you can’t hack it, because you absolutely can. But like learning an instrument, or lifting a heavy weight, with practice will come perfection. You’ve got what it takes!
- ‘It’s Better TO Be Single, According To Science’ Business Insider Erin Brodwin. Published October 21, 2020.