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Sarah Biren
Sarah Biren
April 1, 2017 ·  2 min read

The Love of your Life only happens after the Mistake of your Life

“Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate.” ~ Carrie Bradshaw. Maybe it’s true that we need to first become broken before we can finally become whole and find the love of your life. A love that is painful is the worst kind of heartbreak. You know the one…you had such high hopes, it was the one you risked everything for—only to find it was a bet that you could never win. So we break into a billion tiny pieces of ourselves and contemplate how we could have gotten it so wrong.

We all make mistakes when it comes to love. We choose our partners based on the lessons that our souls need to learn. And we do this without realizing that it is normally those painful lessons we need to go through the most. We can’t be transformed through an easy life and we can’t have our minds expanded by the mundane. Rather, it only happens when we are left with only ourselves and our regrets.

Finding the love of your life

Perhaps there’s no such thing as a mistake if it’s what we needed to learn more about our true selves and how we love. Yet, of course, there will always be those loves we wish we could go back in time for, and just fix. Those ones with endings that were too painful for us to want to permanently write down as part of our past.

But regardless of how badly we wanted this love to be something other than what it was, it won’t change the harsh reality: we needed this love in our lives to break our hearts. The absolute truth is, we need a big mistake to propel us towards the love of our life. We have to fall apart in order to find out how we want to put ourselves back together.

More often than not, the biggest mistake in our love lives is staying in a relationship that we should have walked away from the minute it began. Or, at least should have let go of way before we actually did, and long before it all went chaotically downhill. But we didn’t, and it’s not because that love was meant to be, but because without it we might never have realized what love truly is.

No matter how many times we hope it will end differently, it never does. But it’s not meant to. Our mistakes are meant to end, usually bitterly, and often catastrophically. Their purpose is to rock us to our core and challenge our very selves and our beliefs about love.

So, is there one road to true love? What I do know is that you have to remain open to love because, whatever your age, it may be hiding around the next corner, waiting to ambush you when you least expect it.

Keep Reading: 6 Hard Truths About Love