Jade Small
Jade Small
December 9, 2022 ·  3 min read

What Do You See First? Your Answer Reveals What Makes Dating Hard For You

Optical illusions have been around for centuries and continue to intrigue society to this day. They come in all forms, from visuals to artistic images, and they show us how easily our brains’ can be tricked by what we see. Or, what we don’t notice. But, what exactly does this say about the state of our minds?

As we all perceive things according to our personal experiences, we will view them differently. According to psychologists, what you see first in an illusion can reveal a lot about a person. In this example, it might explain your approach to dating. Furthermore, it might help you understand why you struggle in relationships.

Dating struggles?

Our experiences in life will influence us in ways we don’t realize on a daily basis. Our minds are programmed to be attracted to certain things, and that adds to your perception as well. If you are reading this, you might be someone who struggles with dating. As depressing as this might seem, there is an illusion that can help you understand why. Simply by understanding what image you see first might help you understand yourself a little better.

Your brain’s biggest challenge is shielding you from harm. This is where your ego comes into the picture. Let’s say someone breaks your heart, they are also bruising your ego. In order to protect you from the pain of this, your mind may distort your memory of certain events. According to Neuroscientist, Patrick Cavanagh, our minds create our reality in the form of a story. He said: “It’s really important to understand we’re not seeing reality. We’re seeing a story that’s being created for us.” 

Your approach to dating revealed in illusion

In the image below, there is an abstract drawing. There are two images there, and depending on which one you see will explain your perspective on dating. Some people see a naked, dark haired woman in a seated position, leaning forward. Others see a man’s face with an extremely broad jaw line, a long nose, and a frown on his face. What did you notice first? Take a look. 

What you see explains your approach to dating.
Image credit: YouTube

If you saw the man first:

If you are one of those who spotted the man’s face with the broad jawline first, you are a sagacious person who is able to look past the finer details and take in the bigger picture. You prefer to spend time with your friends chatting and laughing, which makes you an extrovert. Because of this quality, dating comes easily to you, but trusting and committing to someone is something you struggle with.

Furthermore, because you are an extrovert, you love meeting new people and getting to know them. Communication is one of your strongest skills, as you are great at expressing yourself, and discussing problems to solve them. This takes up a lot of your time, which makes you feel as if dating is a tedious and time-consuming task. 

If you saw the dark haired lady first:

If you are someone who immediately sees the woman with dark hair, then you possess a keen eye with attention to details. Your observation skills keep you occupied and you tend to avoid large crowds. Rather than being the center of attention, you hang back and watch. These qualities are strongly linked to your introverted personality. 

Communication does not come to you as easily as it does for others, you are quiet and people often perceive you as being distant and aloof. This makes dating quite tiresome for you, as getting to know someone requires a lot of small talk at first.That being said, you also enjoy being single, as you thrive off being alone.


  1. What You See First Reveals Why Dating Is Hard For You.Higher Perspectives. Aida Maratova. November 11, 2022.