Why do the relationships in today’s society seem to fail so often? What is it about our modern culture that causes us to experience continuous failures with love? Have we forgotten what love is- or did we ever really know?
We are not ready. The compromises, the sacrifices, the investments- we’re just not ready. Most of us want a simplified life, and that includes our relationships. When the going gets tough,
the tough get going we quit. We want our relationship to flourish but we don’t give it time to grow. We give up.
We don’t want an eternal love, we want a passionate thrill. We are the society of instant gratification. We want to “be in the moment” all the time, and no one prepared us for predictability. We confuse stillness and patience with boredom and actively seek our next adventure. We’re not looking for someone to share our deepest moments with, merely our shallowest desires.
We don’t take the time to really love someone because we simply don’t have it. Faced with busy schedules and hectic lifestyles, we want everything, all at once, now now now. Patience has no place in our relationships, so we never develop those deeper connections and emotional support structures. Yet we expect them, as if we’ve suddenly earned them, in a matter of days. Nothing is worth dedication and perseverance- not even love.
We miss out on opportunities to get to know people because we are distracted with texts and social media. We learn everything about a person before we can develop a relationship, and we often never give people the chances the deserve. We are empty and unable to breathe, smothered by useless information and starving for human interaction.
We think are sexually liberated because we can define the phrase, and then equate love with sex. We stumble through meaningless relationships because we feel unfulfilled, and never think to blame our hook-up/break-up culture. We are perpetually searching for loyalty as long as we receive it the same way we get sex- easily and with no strings attached. We don’t understand what it means to be exclusive, and we won’t put the effort towards finding out.
We are over-thinking, and under-appreciative. We are too logical for the fiery consumption of love. We would never survive a long distance relationship because the required effort and potential strain doesn’t make sense. We would never travel half way around the world to possibly meet the love of our lives because, to us, the risk doesn’t outweigh the potential benefit.
We consider ourselves tough because we put up so many walls, yet we are scared. Scared of commitment, scared of being hurt, scared of failing, and ultimately, scared of love. We are afraid of baring our soul to anyone and we fear vulnerability. We wear masks that portray our strengths and individuality, yet we desire someone to see us for who we really are. We are walking contradictions.
We are considered an “evolved” species, yet we can’t figure out the most basic human concept…love.
By Raven Fon