You want your friend to be by your side until the end. But, what if you’re surrounded by fake friends?
Listen, if you’re here, it’s because you have a feeling that someone in your crew isn’t being the real friend that they need to be. Does this mean you cut them from your life? No. You can still see them. Just know where you stand with them. And learn how to spot a fake friend. It is an essential life skill.
Know your limits and boundaries with them. Does it always have to be so complicated? It doesn’t, not if you take the time to see the difference between real and fake friends and learn for the future.
Finding friends is the easy part. The real challenge? Finding real friends. Everyone wants to have a good time and be surrounded by fun people, but what happens when the fun stops and you need support? This is when you know who your real friends are.
I’ve had times when I thought my friends were people I could rely on. And then, when it really came down to me needing a helping hand, they weren’t there. But, I should have seen the signs months before and wasn’t paying attention. Instead, I just wanted to have a good time like most of us do. But it’s easier to learn how to spot a fake friend than you think.
#1 They don’t accept you for you. This is who you are, you are you. But they don’t accept you for who you are. They treat you like there’s something wrong with you, that you need to change parts of yourself. A real friend knows your flaws and still loves and accepts you. Your friends aren’t supposed to judge you. They’re supposed to support you on your path.
#2 They’re jealous. Okay, everyone has some jealousy in them. But when your friend succeeds in something, you should be happy for them and swallow any jealousy you’re feeling.
You may notice that instead of celebrating with you, they make small, digging comments or tease you for your accomplishments. This isn’t what a real friend does, this is what someone does when they’re jealous.
#3 You’re their punching bag. Emotionally speaking, of course. A fake friend will have no problem unloading their issues onto you. In addition, you waste your time giving them advice that they ask for, yet, they never seem to listen to you. They want you to put in all the emotional work but never intend to change.
#4 Calls only when they need something. This is one of those classic signs of a fake friend. Sure, they’re hanging out with you, going to the bars and clubs, having a laugh, but outside of that, they only call you when they need something from you. This is more obvious when you haven’t seen them for a while and they just pop out of nowhere, asking you what’s up and then asking the big favor.
#5 They’re not there when you need them. That’s the funny thing about fake friends, they’re never there when you need them. If you’re wondering how to spot a fake friend, keep an eye on the flakes. They may say that they’ll be there for you, but when it comes to the actual time–poof, they vanish. They don’t actually care about your problems or if you need help. They just use you to help them through their own issues.
#6 They hate it when you call them out. When a friend is being shitty and you tell them, they may be angry. In time, they realize why you said it and sit down and talk about it with you. This is because they’re upset that you’re hurt and they value your friendship. But, a fake friend can’t handle being told the truth and when they hear it, they become defensive and lose their shit.
#7 They don’t support you. You have goals and dreams to accomplish, but when they’re around you, they never want to push you and support you to achieve them. That’s not a friend. These goals don’t have to be huge, they can be small day-to-day goals, but the point is, they constantly try to distract you from achieving them. It’s almost as if they don’t want you to have any success in life.
#8 They demand your attention. You could be working or hanging out with other people, but when they call, they expect you to drop all your things and come running to them. But, the problem is, you go and help them. So, I can’t fully blame them for this as you are partially to blame. But they don’t respect your life or your time, they simply want it to revolve around them.
#9 They’re all about the gossip. When they’re around you, they’re constantly fishing for information whether it’s about you or someone else. If they’re doing this in front of you, imagine what they’re doing behind your back. Gossiping is somewhat normal, but there’s a point when it becomes too much.
#10 You don’t feel like you can be yourself. You can’t relax. It’s like, you need to be a certain person when you’re around them. If this is the case, they’re not your real friend. If you act like yourself, they make comments or become angry and cut communication with you until you conform to their opinions. If this is the case, ditch them.
#11 They’re always more important. You may have gotten a promotion or won a scholarship, but right now, they had a hard day at work and that’s more important than celebrating your achievement. Listen, that’s bullshit.
If they’re always putting themselves over you, regardless of what it is, they’re not a real friend. This is a huge sign that they actually don’t care.
#12 They break promises. They tell you that they’re going to do this and that for you, but at the end of the day, they never keep their promises. Hundreds of excuses probably follow them as to why they had to bail, but the point is, they bailed. They bail over and over. If someone wants to do something, they do it. It’s as simple as that.
#13 You feel their insincerity. You know they’re a fake friend, but you’re on here because you want confirmation. Deep down you know exactly who they are and what you’re dealing with. You may be scared to cut them off or need them for something. Listen, this relationship is toxic. So, make a choice.