1. You can’t have what you want and keep your weak boundaries.
Ouch. I know. But it’s true.
When we don’t have what we want we can start by taking a look at what we are tolerating. The Goddess Hecate is known as the Queen of the Crossroads and is often shown with a key in her hand.
And in contrast to her more recent depiction as a dark goddess, history shows she has also been called the light bringer.
This apparent contradiction reminds me of the response I often get when I suggest that stronger boundaries are in order.
When the word “boundaries” is brought up I watch people recoil like I just brought out a huge hypodermic needle – they might agree that the medicine is good for them in theory but they really would just rather skip the whole boundary creating process – or even the discussion of it.
Most of us are really uncomfortable about the whole idea of boundary setting – we look at that big pointy needle and would rather use a nicer, sweeter, alternative cure to get what we want.
But the “nicer” alternative to setting boundaries usually amounts to just tolerating the status quo while pasting on a sweet smile.
Try as we might to avoid outer conflict we create an inner conflict that causes us to give away our power.
My favorite definition of what a boundary is comes from Brene Brown: a boundary is simply “what’s okay and what’s not okay”.
It’s comforting to also note that Mrs. Brown says her research has found the most compassionate people are also the most boundaried.
So, setting boundaries can be as simple as letting someone know what’s okay and what’s not okay. Like Hecate, you hold the keys, you stand at the crossroads of what’s okay and what’s not okay.
Hecate is also often shown holding a snake, the symbol of transformation. Setting boundaries is life transforming. In fact, setting boundaries is an act of love.
2. Your self-worth determines your ability to let in the good stuff.
One of my earliest mentors told me that the World can’t really give me anything; it can only show me what I’m giving myself.
The Polynesian lunar goddess Hina was fed up with being under-appreciated so she decided to run away against her husband’s wishes and ride a rainbow up to the sun.
The sun turned out to be too hot so she came back down and tried again the next evening going to the moon instead where she is said to abide peacefully.
Hina is known for her strength, perseverance, and her example of standing up for herself. She knew that she was worthy of appreciation and she determined to find it, even if it meant leaving her current relationship.
For years I stayed in an abusive relationship believing that if I worked hard enough at being wonderful and used my magical skills well I could turn a bad relationship into a good one.
The truth is that I allowed myself to be treated badly because I didn’t love and respect myself enough to set strong boundaries – and to walk away if need be.
Our intimate relationships are the biggest brightest mirrors we have to show us what we’re willing to give our self, a reflection of our level of our self-worth.
3. Your self-love and self-care habits are evidence of how much you value yourself.
It isn’t just what we do for our self, but how we do it. A loving intention goes a long way towards powering up our self-care regimen.
It’s one thing to book a massage or get a manicure or a haircut or whatever else you might think of when the word “self-care” comes up, but even drinking a glass of water can be a powerful act of self-love when we do it with a loving intention.
The Moon goddess Yemana is also the Goddess of the Ocean who nurtures all life. She is said to be the energy that nurtures the earth and is known for her generosity and her giving nature.
Powerful like the ocean, and healing like the salty sea water, she loves but she doesn’t give her power away.
Our acts of self-nurturing send a message to our unconscious about our worthiness, and our love and compassion towards our self helps us teach others how to treat us.
Treat yourself well, and do it with a loving intention. Intention is powerful and you are worthy of great love.
4. You will find your power when you own your shadow.
The story of the Sumerian moon goddess Ishtar and her descent into the underworld is a powerful reminder that to be whole we need to accept fully what lies beneath our outward “acceptable” persona.
The day that I realized that all of the crap I was experiencing in my life was actually my own creation was a powerful aha moment.
Instead of placing blame for all of the painful experiences on someone or something else, I decided to take responsibility and own the idea that I had created all of it.
Down, down, down into the depths of realizing that every painful, humiliating, embarrassing, uncomfortable, shitty thing I had experienced or was experiencing was my own creation.
By going to this depth I recognized “Hey, if I can create all of this heartache then I can create happiness too!” – That’s when the ascent back up began.
Ishtar discarded all of her belongings as she descended into the underworld, but they were all returned as she came back up – and as she returned the trees blossomed and the birds sang – she returned with power and glory, she was whole.
5. Essential for all magic making is a united will.
Correspondence is a hermetic principle familiar to witches, magicians, and metaphysicians of all stripes – “As above so below. As within so without.”
When our inner world aligns with our outer world we experience synchronicity.
Most of us have had the “I was just thinking about him and the phone rang” experience – but there is a deeper experience as well.
When our inner truths are aligned with our outer expressions – this is when the big magic happens.
However, it’s often difficult to give ourselves permission to honor our deepest inner feelings, especially when they include fears and emotions we’ve deemed unacceptable.
The Hindu Moon Goddess Anumati’s name translates to “divine favor” or “permissions”. She is the Goddess of spirituality. True spirituality allows us to honor every feeling, emotion, and desire as having value.
Life is not all love and light.
When we give our self permission to experience all of our feelings and emotions without judging them as “bad” or unacceptable, then we are on the road to having a united will and experiencing true power.
by Cindie Chavez | Badwitch.es