This Is How ‘Crazy’ You Are, According To Your Zodiac Sign

You’re not known to put much faith in astrology, only dating Scorpios and palling around with Geminis is kind of your thing…but did you ever stop to wonder if you might be hanging with the wrong crew…as in your crew is totally crazy?

Much like Justin Bieber couldn’t help being born Canadian, your loved ones couldn’t help being born under a specific zodiac sign. But you can find out which signs are the absolute craziest, and which signs you can learn to peacefully co-exist with.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

Happy-go-lucky almost to a fault, Aquariuses are the distinct kind of crazy that comes from living a charmed life, and when they don’t get their way they can be real dicks. This water sign is the type to open a door for a stranger, and then speed dial their dentist to cuss them out over an incorrect billing, (even if they agreed to pay that amount beforehand and the info is completely accurate) — that’s Aquarius in a nutshell.


Pisces (February 20 – March 20)

Crazy Meter: ✔/✔✔✔✔✔

Of all the zodiac signs, Pisces is the least crazy. Known for being honest, reserved, and compassionate, the Pisces in your life can be counted on in any and all situations. Your favorite barista who knows your drink order by heart? Yep, that beautiful braided coffee-artist is probably a Pisces (thanks for the extra foam today, Allison). These kindhearted water signs go out of their way to brighten someone else’s day and will apologize for any wrongdoing excessively, making them the sanest (and sweetest) of all the signs.


Aries (March 21 – April 20)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

Courageous, curious, confident, and always up for a challenge, Aries are good friends, lovers, and reliable rock-climbing partners. As a fire sign, Aries are passionate and quick to let their opinions be known. Never backing down from a fight can be a good thing, unless you’re the one on the receiving end of an Aries’ rant. Usually these spiels are fueled by topics Aries is passionate about, like social justice issues or politics (or even a well-meaning tirade about the benefits of following a gluten-free diet, sigh). You can’t get behind all of Aries’ wacky opinions, but you respect the fact that they stick to their guns.


Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

There’s a reason that Taurus is represented by a bull. Typically associated with being warm, big-hearted, loving, and broad-minded, this earth sign can also be incredibly stubborn and strong-willed. Tauruses are “ride or die” type friends that will argue with you until they’re blue in the face, but will also have your back in your darkest hour. Your typical Taurus has probably fought with bartenders over the cost of their drink, and then proceeded to get kicked out by security and buy everyone they’re with some late night drunkchies. There doesn’t seem to be a method to their madness, but at least they’re consistently inconsistent.


Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔✔✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

You never know which side of a Gemini you’re going to get. Indecisive, flighty, yet wildly fun, Geminis go through life like it’s one big party (except sometimes they’re leading the toast, and others they’re yacking in a stranger’s toilet). It’s true that Geminis will easily adapt to any situation, but you will want to make sure that the situation is a fun one, and not a scary one. This air sign definitely takes the cake for being the most bananas. A typical Friday night for a Gemini consists of going to a classy dinner at the coolest restaurant in town while dressed to the nines, then heading to an underground club full of people only wearing leather thongs and pig masks where they can do ketamine in the dark (free of judgement, packed with pleasure).


Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

Ruled by the moon, Cancers moods can shift as easily as the tides. While they can be fiercely loyal homebodies, they’re just as likely to throw on a crop top and run out to the club to do blow with strangers. Your ex was a Cancer (no pun intended) and was the most hot-and-cold person you’ve ever met. One minute they were texting you they loved you, and the next they were leaving you insane voicemails about how you and your entire family were “worthless garbage.” You can’t predict what Cancers will do next, but they make you want to keep guessing…what can you say? They have their good moments (and tend to be skilled at oral).


Leo (July 23 – August 21)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

Like cats sometimes do, Leos are known for rubbing people the wrong way. They’re flashy, loud, and love being the center of attention. You grew up watching Leos ham it up in school talent shows, and now you can spot one by looking around your local bar and observing who is being the most drunk and obnoxious. Riding mechanical bulls, posting countless swimsuit selfies on social media, and sharing sex stories loudly at dinner so everyone around them can hear (even though no one cares), Leos are not known for being the sanest sign. Leos rank high on the crazy scale because they truly don’t know when enough is enough.


Virgo (August 22 – September 23)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

Virgos rank fairly high on the crazy-meter due to their inability to give up control. Committing random details to memory and working tirelessly to achieve perfection are just some of the traits that leave their non-Virgo friends bewildered. While they’re known for doing nice things like volunteering with the elderly or adopting three-legged puppies, Virgos are the type of people to take credit for someone else’s idea at work. Their coworkers are too afraid of them to speak up, so they end up receiving praise for things they had nothing to do with — and they’re totally fine with that. Highly analytical, Virgos excel in high-stress situations, even if it means throwing someone else under the bus to receive recognition.


Libra (September 24 – October 23)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

Seeking out balance in all they do, Libras will go to extremes to put harmony into place, and they usually do so by being diplomatic and rational during the process. However, Libra’s dark side comes out when they’re on the hunt for a mate. Their Tinder bio says something to the effect of “Love me or hate me, it’s still an obsession**~~.” Take heed and back the hell up if you’re vying for the attention of someone a Libra has in their clutches, because they’ll shamelessly circulate a rumor on the internet that you have oral herpes if it means they get what (or who) they want.


Scorpio (October 24 – November 22)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

The thing about scorpions is…they sting. To an outsider, Scorpios are praised for being resourceful and intuitive. But to those who know them? Let’s just say you don’t know anyone who’s tangoed with a Scorpio without getting burned. You hooked up with a Scorpio once after a drunken night out on the town. They wouldn’t stop texting you and you had to let them down easy, and mysteriously the next day your tires were slashed. When you sent a text asking if they did it, all you got in response was a “Sorry, whose number is this?” followed up by a dubious winkie face. Credited with being the most sensual of the zodiac signs, Scorpios make amazing lovers, but they have no qualms about taking someone down who rebukes their sexuality.


Sagittarius (November 23 – December 22)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

As the sign of the philosopher, and frequently represented by the centaur, Sagittariuses are always on the hunt for truth and independence. Because they value their freedom so much, this sign can sometimes abide by “YOLO” a little too heavily, burning friends and family in the process. Remember your friend who drank three yard drinks in Vegas, came crashing into your hotel room at 5:30 in the morning, and barfed all over your floor and refused to help clean it up (or even throw down for a housekeeping tip)? Yeah, they’re totes a Sagittarius. In the words of Ludacris, “Move bitch, get out the way” when a Sagittarius is involved, or you could get stuck cleaning up their crazy-ass messes.


Capricorn (December 23 – January 20)

Crazy Meter: ✔✔✔/✔✔✔✔✔

Capricorns thrive in professional settings. This sign is extremely organized and hard-working, meaning they’re willing to take on any challenge that they can combat with intelligence and drive. But although they look put together on the surface, this sign’s freak flag flies when working with others. Capricorns can’t loosen their tight Type-A grips when dealing with group projects. If you happen to throw your idea into the ring and they find it unfavorable, prepare for tons of side eye and loads of passive-aggressive emails asking you to “circle back” AKA see things their way or hit the highway. This same control is applied to their personal lives, so good luck ever picking a restaurant or movie when you’re out on the town with a Capricorn — they want things their way or not at all.


BY  for Distractify