I didn’t mean to break your heart, mom. I know you had such high hopes and dreams for me, never in a million years did I mean to disappoint you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the daughter you always wanted.
But I didn’t have much of a choice, did I? No matter what I did, unless you had it planned out to a T, I was bound to disappoint you. You didn’t get what you wanted out of me, mom, and I’m sorry for that.
I’m sorry that I chose my happiness over your money and connections. That I’d rather chase my dreams than have you pay for them.
I’m sorry my tattoos and piercings embarrass you and that you don’t want me to show them in public. I’m sorry that I chose to express myself in ways that you’ll never understand or agree with.
I’m sorry I decided I liked sports better than being the girly girl you always pushed on me and I know that hurt you. But I’ve never been interested in the white picket fence, perfect husband, and two little kids running around. That’s just not me… that’s you.
I’m sorry there are so many things about me that you wish you could change, fix, and mold into your perfect idea of a daughter.
But what I’m not sorry for is being truly and completely myself each day. I am not sorry that I chose to pursue a lifestyle that makes my soul come alive and sets my spirit on fire. I am not sorry that I’d rather live in an urban tiny home than a mansion and I’d rather make my own life than have my husband make it for me.
I’m not sorry that I have chosen to work for what I have instead of having everything given to me. I’m not sorry I don’t feel the need for years and years of education and have chosen to let the world teach me things. I’m not sorry I’d rather live paycheck to paycheck than have a trust fund with conditions.
Mom, I’ll never be sorry for who I am, I am damn proud of the woman I have become and there is nothing in this world that could change that. I have spent enough of my life allowing you make me feel guilty for who I am and what I bring to the table and I’m done apologizing for not being what you wanted.
My world is so much brighter than yours, mom and I’m sorry you don’t see that. Maybe one day you will, but until then I’m done feeling sorry for not turning out how you always dreamed. I love myself, I just wish you did, too.
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