They say, there should never be any secrets between the partners, yet many couples have plenty of them. Unless you are going to throw a birthday party for him or book the tickets for your second honeymoon, hiding something from him is a huge mistake that can cost you a long-term relationship. Every relationship is built on trust, so make sure you don’t hide the following secrets from your significant other.
1. When someone asks you on a date
Whether you have been in a long-term relationship for years or weeks, there is always going to be someone who will ask you on a date one day. It is scaring and embarrassing. You are more likely to say “no,” but still feel like you cheated on your SO. Let him know about the situation and you will breathe a sigh of relief.
2. Health issues
If you suffer from any serious disease or you have any other minor health issues or allergies, let your significant other know about it. If he breaks up with you after that, you will at least know that his love is not real.
3. Your fears
Everyone faces fears at some point in life. If you feel that your biggest fears can ruin your relationship, talk to your partner. Many times, even the happiest couples break up because of fears – be it a fear of intimacy or commitment. There is nothing wrong with you. Chances are, he has some fears to confess about too.
4. Your family problems
I had been hiding my family problems from my ex for years, believing he would judge me for them. Although I love my parents, they have been fighting their entire lives. It always makes me feel depressed and so my ex thought I was simply unhappy with him. Now that I am honest with my current SO about my family issues, he supports me and this is exactly what I need at such moments.
5. Your future plans
You want to start a business and become a millionaire. Maybe your future goal is to travel around the world. Or you are dreaming about having three kids. Your partner should know your future plans and you should know his. It may not seem like a huge problem now but can turn into a huge dilemma down the road.
6. When your ex calls
There is nothing wrong with staying in touch with your ex. However, hiding this fact from your current partner can lead to a problem. Let him know when your ex texts or calls you, and ensure that you have no secrets to keep from him.
7. When you have a criminal record
Surely, it does not define you. There is no guarantee that some of you will never get in jail. If you have serious plans about your current relationship and he is truly in love with you, tell him about your criminal record – if you have any. Trust me, he will understand, but only if he loves you.
He deserves to know about your bad credit score, especially if you two decide to tie the knot. Again, you are not alone and every second person has debts. Just tell him that you need some time to pay your debt off. Do not get disappointed if he refuses to help you. It is your debt, after all.
9. You were married or/and have a child
This is one of the biggest secrets both women and men try to keep from their partners in the beginning of relationships. I have no idea why you feel ashamed of your past marriage or your child, but it is actually wonderful. Just because you have a baby does not mean no man will fall in love with you again. If he loves you, he will certainly love your little one.
10. Your biggest addictions
Social media. Phone. Alcohol. Food. Drugs. Whatever you are addicted to, let him know about it. Luckily, he will help you overcome your addiction. If not, let him go. Any addiction is a problem, but if he runs away from you now, image what can happen if a more serious problem will arise in future.
Secrets are meant to be kept, but not when it comes to a long-term relationship and marriage. Strive to build your relationship on trust rather than on a lie. He should not keep any secrets from you either. Remember it the next time you notice he hides something from you.
By Catalina | Womenosophy