When people think of a psychopath they naturally think of people like Christian Bale’s character in American Psycho or the guy Anthony Hopkins played in Silence of the Lambs; the kind of person who goes on psychotic murdering sprees; when in fact, the guy we share a bed with every night could possess some of the same psychotic traits…
I have compiled a list of the 12 signs to look for if you think you might be dating a psychopath:
1. Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde:
It seems like your partner is two completely different people; they can change in a split second for no reason. Acting one way with you but a different way when around your family and friends. When you first began dating, they were charming, sincere, everything seemed perfect, and they would say everything you’d want to hear. This is because they wanted you to believe in them when in reality they were really just setting their traps. Psychopaths are experts at blending into whatever crowd they’re around, like a chameleon.
2. You feel like you’re going crazy:
Psychopaths are the masters of manipulation. They have a way of turning everything around on you. You start to think you are going crazy; you might start to become paranoid about things like what kind of clothes you wear, what you say, have said or if people are talking about you. You start to have little battles with yourself in your head, overreact, or start to second-guess yourself.
3. You feel like you have no voice:
When you talk to your partner you feel like you are never heard, they just don’t listen. It’s like you are talking to a brick wall, and your words are often taken out of context or used against you. If you said you would like to watch a romantic movie, your partner would try to convince you that you are silly for liking that type of movie, or if you told him you wanted to go out for dinner, your partner would try to make sure you do something they’d want to do instead. You feel completely ignored.
4. They lie a lot:
They lie about almost everything they do, where they have been, who they were with. Psychopaths will even lie to get you into a relationship with them by telling you they like and want the same things as you, when in fact they don’t like or want the same things as you at all, except control over you.
5. You feel isolated and alone:
You feel like you are walking on eggshells; the smallest things will make your partner lose their temper. If your friends ask you to come over or if your family asks you out to dinner, you’re scared to tell your partner for fear of their reaction. Your partner wants to know who you’re friends with, making you feel guilty about spending time with them, and eventually you slowly start to spend less time with your friends until you feel like your partner is the only person left in your life.
They learn about your vulnerabilities and weaknesses so they know where and how they can hurt you, and cause you more pain. They make you feel alone, confused, scared, embarrassed, or worthless until you no longer have any confidence left in you. All of this is so they can make you feel isolated and lose all of your support, giving them more power and control.
6. They feel no guilt or remorse:
Your partner may hurt you, physically or verbally, even by their actions like cheating, they promise that it was a one-time thing and will never happen again. This is their way of manipulating you. The only thing they are sorry about is being caught. They have no remorse for their actions and they will manage to blame you for what they’ve done and make you feel bad for saying anything at all.
7. They make you feel sorry for them:
They tell you all about their troubles; they were abused, from a broken home, wasn’t loved as a child, has an illness, or has a psycho ex; always playing the victim. They don’t feel good about themselves, they feel abandoned and people always leave them. They will even make up stories or embellish them. Their aim is to get you to sympathise and feel sorry for them. The reason they do this is to manipulate you in not leaving them despite their treatment and behaviour towards you.
8. They have a sense of entitlement:
When your partner does something nice for you, they feel entitled to praise or a reward, like a little child or puppy. If you do not reward or praise them they feel it’s their entitlement to hurt you. If they have been hurt or dismissed in any way they feel it’s their right to retaliate.
9. They’re always the life of the party:
They love to be the centre of attention. They’re attractive, funny, have a relaxed attitude, they can be charming, charismatic, and tend to make people feel special about themselves. They think and act like they’re the bees knees, the coolest, smartest person alive, and try to make everyone aware of it. This eventually turns into arrogance. They will tell you how amazing they are and tell you how ” lucky you are to be with them.”
10. They know what you are doing at all times:
Do you feel like you partner is spying on you? Do they get mad if you don’t answer a call from them or if you come home later than planned? Do they get jealous if they see you talking to someone of the opposite sex? And then accuse you of cheating? Despite all this, your partner is allowed to do whatever they want, when they want to do it and if you feel like you aren’t allowed to question them, they have control over you.
11. Things don’t always seem to add up:
When your partner tells you a story, some of the things they talk about never seem to add up; you don’t feel like they are being totally honest with you or telling you the whole story. If you say something they become angry with you. You begin to do everything they say but they still find fault with you. You start to believe their lies and when, in their eyes, you do something wrong they punish you. If they cheat on you, they make you believe it’s your fault for being “inadequate”.
If you catch them in a lie, they’ll just spit out another one to cover the last lie up.
12. Your partner hurts animals:
A normal person treats people and animals with kindness and respect, regardless of their status. Has your partner hurt your cat or dog? Maybe they’ve kicked at your pet or threatened an animal? Do they show a dislike for animals in general?