It’s better to have failed at love than to have never loved at all. A lot of times, love just doesn’t go the way we expect it to. We fall in love with someone and things start off great. Then as time goes by and as problems start to pile up, we start to understand that love just isn’t enough sometimes. There will be moments where we question ourselves and whether we really deserve love at all.
You should know that your breakups and failed relationships aren’t always going to be your fault. Yes, you will have your shortcomings and your personal flaws, but relationships are a two-way street. There are so many variables that go into having a successful relationship, it can be difficult to determine any particular points of failure in a relationship.
What happens when you’re caught in a bad relationship? Do you continue to fight for the love that you have or do you just give up? Should you cut your losses and call it quits or do you think that this is still a love that is worth saving? These are questions that only you can answer. However, we do have some insights as to how you could play things out.
You should look at your relationship and assess things objectively. Don’t be emotional about it. Ask yourself: what are the chances that I can actually still save this troubled relationship? If the chances are high, then by all means, try harder. If the chances don’t look too good, then it may be good judgement to just quit while you’re ahead.
So how do you determine whether your relationship still has good or bad chances for survival? There are some signs that you should look out for. Here are 4 signs that your relationship is likely to come to an end:
1. Intimacy is a scarce resource.
You no longer have that spark that your relationship once had. You find it awkward and unnecessary to express your love for each other. Romantic gestures are almost non-existent, and on the rare occasions that they do surface, the gestures are hollow and meaningless. When you find yourself in a relationship where intimacy is but a scarce resource, then yes, your relationship is probably doomed. Successful couples always find a way to express their love and affection for each other. The best relationships are always able to find avenues for intimacy whether it be through grand and elaborate gestures or through simple acts of kindness. If you’re trapped in a relationship where you no longer feel that it’s urgent to express intimacy, then you might as well call it quits right now.
2. You’ve broken up before.
If you’ve broken up before, then there is a high probability that you’re going to break up again. If your relationship wasn’t strong enough to withstand your problems the last time, what makes you think it can do so now? You have to be realistic with your chances and understand that failed relationships will fail for a reason. There’s no point in forcing something to work when it just refuses to. The happy couples are those who are able to get over problems, not by tearing each other apart, but by facing them together as a team. If you don’t feel like you have a team-mate who is willing to stay at your side for life, then you’re just beating a dead horse by prolonging the inevitable. You both deserve someone else who can bring happiness and meaning to your lives.
3. Neither of you are willing to commit to each other any longer.
Relationships are all about making it work despite troubles and hardships. If neither of you find it important to commit time and effort to making your relationship work, then it’s most likely doomed. Your relationship is only as strong as the level of commitment that you give to each other. You can’t be distracted and all over the place when it comes to trying to address the issues of your relationship. Don’t ever underestimate the troubles of real life. You have to understand that a lot of times, love just isn’t going to be enough. You need a lot of dedication, commitment, and hard work if you want your relationship to last.
4. Either of you have had bad romantic experiences in the past.
You’re scarred and that’s why it’s so difficult for you to let yourself find love again. If either of you have had bad romantic experiences in the past, then it’s highly likely you’ll become a more guarded person in the future. You can’t possibly build a thriving relationship that is built on distrust and guardedness. You have to both be able to open up to each other. You have to trust each other with your feelings and emotions even if it means you’ll end up getting hurt in the long run. Relationships are risks and you have to be able to risk pain if you want to make things work.