It’s no secret that people who have gone through horrible relationship experiences will be emotionally traumatized and scarred. These people have managed to survive train-wreck relationships but the damage is still there. Some go through relationships that are downright toxic, manipulative, and destructive. These kinds of relationships are able to break a person’s spirit in ways that are unimaginable. That’s why love can be such a treacherous game. We try to invest as much love as we can into the relationships that we think are worth fighting for, and yet, in the end, we only end up betraying and hurting ourselves.
The more love we actually put into a toxic relationship, the more it is going to hurt us once the relationship implodes.
However, the strongest of us don’t necessarily give up on love just because of a bad and toxic relationship. A lot of people will still manage to remain optimistic about the prospect of finding love; the kind of love that they think they truly deserve. Whenever you find yourself in the situation of dating a person who has somehow survived being in a toxic relationships, you might be feeling lost at first. There’s something different there that you just can’t quite put your finger on.
Here are a few things that you need to know about loving someone who has just gotten through a destructive relationship.
1. You have to be able to be patient.
Patience is always key when dealing with an emotionally traumatized person. They will always be hesitant to go into a new relationship at first. They will feel uncomfortable because of their previous bad experiences. They might want to take things really slow and you have to be okay with that. You can’t pressure them into moving further into the relationship when they’re not ready.
2. You have to practice being a good listener.
Communication is always important when dealing with deeply emotional people. You have to be able to hear them out. You have to make them feel like they are in a safe space of expression. You can’t afford to make them feel like they have to suppress themselves. Be a good listener and always maintain open lines of communication.
3. You don’t want to make them feel like you pity them.
They don’t need nor do they want your pity. They only want you to be there for them. They only want you to help them believe in love again. They want you to help them see that life doesn’t always have to be cruel or different and that love can still be real.
4. You have to always give positive reinforcement.
These people who undergo stressful emotional experiences will most likely have very broken spirits and bruised egos. They will always find themselves questioning their value and whether they are really worthy of love. You always have to give positive reinforcement to them during the times they are questioning themselves. You can’t afford to play bad-cop with these very fragile souls.
5. You have to be very careful with how you receive their apologies.
People are flawed. That’s a basic fact of life. So it’s only normal when people in relationships will screw up or stumble every once in a while. However, when this person that you love apologizes for a fault, you always have to be careful with how you receive the apology. Don’t be snobby or snooty. Be nice about it and be constructive. Always use friendly language and don’t make them feel worse than they probably already feel.
6. You have to build their spirits at all times.
They are broken souls and they need fixing. They are very flawed human beings and they need your help to put themselves back together again. That’s why you always have to be caring and loving at all times. You have to be as nurturing as much as possible. You can’t be hostile and combative. Do your best to always prop them up or push them forward when they need it.
7. You can’t afford to be afraid of showing your gratitude and appreciation.
Always make sure that you express your gratitude and appreciation for your new partner. In their previous relationship, they will have probably felt neglected and unappreciated at all times. These are huge contributors to their bruised egos and low self-esteem. That’s why it’s important for you to always tell your emotionally damaged partners that you value having them in your life.
8. You have to make up for all the bad experiences they’ve gone through.
They’ve gone through some very traumatic experiences. They have experienced some seriously heavy emotional distress. That’s why it should be your sole duty to show them that relationships don’t always have to cause anxiety attacks. They don’t always have to be toxic and stressful. You have to be able to provide them a safe space to love and be passionate. You have to be everything that their previous relationships failed to be for them.