It’s very common for people in a long-term relationship to feel that the spark is lost. This is probably because once time passes on, we naturally settle down. We become used to our environment and the people around us and it’s just not exciting anymore. Eventually you stop doing the things that you used to do previously.
Everything just becomes a sort of routine. It’s not that you hate them or no longer love them; it’s just that you know that at the end of the day they’ll be there. You don’t have to work to keep them around anymore and well they’re not your priority any more.
You can’t find as much time for them as you used to. It’s understandable that you’re at a point where you no longer need to go out of your way to prove your love to them, but that doesn’t mean you start to completely neglect each other it means you should do exactly what you feel like you don’t have to.
Woo your beloved.
After all if you continue to treat your partner like you did at the beginning of your relationship, you wouldn’t feel like your relationship is coming to an end.
Love is what brought you two together, and at the end of the day, it is the very same thing that’s going to keep you two together. You’ll remember what made your relationship possible and you’ll begin to build up again.
Even If you’ve hit rock bottom. So take out the time to bring back the spark. Take some time to make what was once the most exciting part of your day, exciting again. Here are a few things that could be potentially helpful to rebuild that aura of romance in your relationship:
1. Make love to get love back!
One of the simplest and most effective ways to reconnect with your partner is through sex. It is intimate and fulfilling in so many ways. It’s vital to a relationship. It builds a sense of security and trust. You could be reminded of your first time together, and what it felt like. The rush and anticipation might all come back to you.
All you might have been holding in could find a way out. You may be tired at the end of the day; it might have been a hard day at work but spare a day a week just for some… physical affection. It will do you good, you will probably stress out less, be able to get rid of stress and you and your partner will feel young again. It won’t be you just having to go home; it will be you wanting to go home.
Physical affection isn’t just physical; the thought of the ac alone can commence a series of reactions in one’s brain. Women are actually known to release a chemical upon ‘relief’ which makes the fall in love even more with their partner. It could be euphoric so don’t give up or pass up on an opportunity.
Physical intimacy is just as important as a bond. You’ll be surprised at what your partner would be willing to do for you, out of sheer love. It an intimacy that makes you feel in awe of one another and makes your bond stronger. It a blanket of security for you and your partner.
2. Prioritize yourself
Love yourself, only then will you be capable of loving them and being loved. That does not mean you forget about your surroundings all together and just focus on yourself but you should focus on yourself enough to:
- Have good health and hygiene. This will be pleasant for you and your beloved. Keep your body in a condition that makes you feel confident and makes your partner lust over you. if you feel good , everything feels better
- Have good fitness and make yourself attractive for them. I know a lot of people will think ‘they should love me for me’ they probably do, however if you try just for them not because you have to but because you want to they’ll want to do the same and the end result will be two beautiful people who not only attract each other via personality and character but also attract each other physically.
And when you’re content, you’re more focused on other people and other things. If you keep thinking about yourself and how you don’t appreciate yourself, you will take it out on others. That will only lead to unnecessary misunderstanding that may affect your relationship entirely. If you aren’t giving yourself enough time, you’re constantly distracted and feel unfulfilled regardless of how your partner is treating you.
You might be irritated even by their mere presence just because you’re not at peace with yourself again you will take any anger and hurt that you have towards yourself at your partner, hurting them along the way.. This could place them in a state of confusion. They may simply think that you just are not attracted to them anymore and that can be super discouraging. They might be doing everything right, yet you would react in an unexpected manner.
They buy you a dress and it just doesn’t fit right (well that’s how you feel) and then you don’t appreciate them enough and it’s all just a big mess. Eventually they would stop trying and distance themselves from you.
Lose those extra pounds you’ve wanted to get rid of, have a spa day, get a massage and just come to appreciate your own existence. You might feel insecure and not want to be as intimate with your partner, which will only be a cause of problems.
Do all you can to naturally rid yourself of your insecurities and that will be enough for you to allow your partner to be able to get close enough to get rid of all the others.
3. Revisit the past
Old photos, movies, music and places you first met or had your first date and many such memories can serve the purpose really well. A walk down memory lane always helps.
Look at old pictures and remember what you used to be like together. The more you remember the past, the more you’d want to reenact it. Memories of the rush will make you want it back and you will at least try to bring back charms in your relationship.
Not only the happy memories but even the ones about trying times remind you of how you’ve come a long way to where you are today, just remember how you loved them so much then that leaving them at that time was something you couldn’t even have imagined. It’ll make you realize that you didn’t just try all that time simply for laughs and if you worked so hard then you’ll feel like trying to make it work even more now.
If it was worth it then, it’s worth it now as well. And there’s nothing you two can’t survive, as long as you’re in it together. Maybe do some of the things you did when you started going out and you’ll see the magic return in no time!
Reenact your first date or just laugh along about the good old days of high school or college. Share your memories even if they aren’t of when you were together. If you have memories that hurt, reenact them with each other and stop them from causing you any more pain. Replace the bad memories with newer better more pleasant and more wanted ones.
4. Flirt with them
It might sound silly but works like a charm. Flirting elevates your mood, relieves the stress and eases things between the two of you. You’d find it to be refreshing and encouraging. Compliment them. And make them feel good about themselves.
And they will probably make you feel the same way. If you go out of your way to buy them flowers and to give them random kisses just as a show of innocent affection chances are, they will reciprocate your actions and it’ll be bliss.
Tell them they look good, that you like the way they smell, maybe tease them a little and try to make them blush. It’ll be like going back to the first year and it will give your relationship a new start.
Take them out on a spontaneous date. Meet them for lunch and even show a little public display of affection in front of their colleagues or coworkers. Write cute little messages to one another and if you really want to go in deep, write them a letter.
Utilize your inner Shakespeare and write them a poem. Tell them you love parts of them you know they are low-key embarrassed and insecure about. It will be a breath of fresh air. You will be brighter around one another and it will be like high school all over again.
Don’t be shy to show affection.
5. Try something new
That trip you’ve been meaning to take but have been putting it off for some reason, or that club you’ve been hearing about, be it anything, and just find something to do together. Something you’ve never tried before. Engage each other and you’d feel the communication getting better and the distance narrowing.
Try something new together. Watch one of those drive through movies. Go on a picnic or go tree climbing. Try thinking on behalf of your partner, try things you were too afraid to but you’ve always wanted to. Go binge on junk food and make blanket forts. Just try new things together. Make new memories together. The more you have around you to remind you of one another, the more you will think of one another and the happier you will be.
Try a little something new in bed, try weird food combinations. It may all seem silly but these are all opportunities to discover one another and even yourself. It will be a path to finding out new things about one another. You’ll realize more and more of each other’s likes and dislikes and it will be a new realization.
Trying something new is just an easy way to figure each other out more.
6. Prioritize them
Start doing things right. Don’t just assume that they’re always going to be by your side regardless of what you do and don’t do. If you want to keep them around, you’ll have to work for it. They shouldn’t have to be with you out of obligation, rather out of love. So make them feel loved. Show them what they mean to you. Make time for each other every single day. Tell them you love them and then prove it too.
Buy them chocolates. Get off work a few hours early; take a day off just to hang out with each other. Take care of them when they’re sick. It seems minor and some may even think it an annoyance ‘they’re a full-grown person, they can handle a day on their own’ well, you made an unspoken promise of dedication when you decided to engage into your relationship don’t break it. Sometimes is okay, but not even caring is definitely not okay at all.
If you don’t even woo them and they feel like dinner together is a mere obligation, you are definitely doing something wrong.
Your partner is not your pet or an object that you can play around with when you want to and leave behind when you don’t want to. A human being has feelings and emotions, can transform from love to hate and from pain to pleasure within only a few moments. Don’t give your partner the chance to even doubt your love for them.
Yes, you can’t be together a hundred percent of the time and if you feel like they’re clingy, you might get annoyed at them. But these emotions of clinginess and extreme attachment don’t foster by themselves. There’s probably a reason they want to spend a lot of time with you and if you open your mind to it, you will want it just as much as them.
Yes, you need personal space, but don’t make it so that she/he feels like a mere annoyance or a fly on the wall. And give them space too; don’t force them to give up their plans if you can’t even give up yours.
7. Talk about it
If you’re feeling something missing in the relationship, you need to let your partner know. They might be noticing the same and even if they aren’t, they need to know.
This would keep you from blaming your partner for being inconsiderate of your feelings. And the sooner it’s out in the open, the sooner you can fix it.
If they’re sensitive to you mentioning it they need some time. Your feelings matter and so does your mental well-being. If they can’t even listen to a request without being unnecessarily sensitive over it, they probably place their feelings over yours. Make them understand. Have an open no strings attached conversation and help each other out.
If you feel like the intimacy is dead, tell them so that both of you can work on it and you can become better suited as relationship partners. If you want a dog, tell them. Don’t fear rejection. This is your person, you can trust them and hence it should not be a problem simply mentioning some parts of the relationship you could work on.
It might not swing completely your way, but don’t expect it to you. They have desires too and compromise and settle on a point you would consider the middle ground. Have some coffee at 3 am and just let it all out. Anything that might have hurt you or something that might have made you feel irrelevant. It doesn’t have to even be related to your relationship. It could be about a cute puppy you saw a day ago to how your boss appreciated your work.
Talk. Communication is key. If you know their past you need to keep it exciting by talking about your now. Talk about your feelings. No, it does not make you any less of a man or any less of a woman.
Relationships are fragile, no matter how long it has been. There’s always a chance of something going wrong. And the slightest mistake could damage what you’ve been working for all along. Even if you feel something missing, you can always bring it back. There are very few mistakes that could be considered unforgivable.
If it’s a little hurt or a little misunderstanding due to some misconception, work on it. Put effort into your relationship. Make your partner feel wanted and loved and most of all secure. There will be hiccups along the way but it will only make your relationship all the more worthwhile. It’ll make you understand each other even more and it will make you content with what you have.
If you fight for something it will feel great without a doubt. So stay loyal, stay faithful, don’t makeup misunderstandings and don’t give them a chance either. Love them so much that they’re consumed by the love.