By Raven Fon | IHeartIntelligence.com
Despite the fact that we try to be good, decent human beings, we occasionally display “less than great” behaviour. Sometimes, tendencies emerge which push others away, cause aggravation, or just plain annoy those in your vicinity. No one is perfect, but if you find that you are displaying any of the bad habits listed below, you are making yourself unattractive to others without even knowing it.
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1. BEING SELF-CENTERED
A lot of people are unaware that they are guilty of this behaviour. A conversation begins with someone talking about theirday and ends with you talking about yours. Don’t fall into the “me” trap! It is fine and dandy to want to share your awesome experiences with the rest of the world, but try to let others have the spotlight to themselves once in a while. Listen to yourself when you speak. How often do you use “I” in your conversations with others? If you find it to be quite often, you might be shifting the focus to yourself without realizing it. Bite your tongue and listen to others when they speak. Giving someone the attention they deserve is important in all types of relationships.
2. IGNORING INNER-BEAUTY/FOCUSING ON OUTER-BEAUTY
The truth is, real beauty lies within. However, not everyone understand this. Solely focusing on someone’s outward appearance and ignoring what resides within their heart is a majorly unattractive trait. For most of us, we can’t drastically change how we look on the outside. All we can do is improve ourselves on the inside and help others to understand what is really important.
3. BEING OVERLY-COMPETITIVE
News flash: not everything is a competition. In fact, overly-competitive behaviour is rather unattractive. If your friend has a fear of heights and climbs a tree, and you respond with “Oh yeah, I climbed a tree three times that height,” you are being competitive. Instead, you should be supportive in your relationships. Congratulate your friend on conquering their fears and remember to let them have their moment.
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4. QUESTIONING YOUR VALUE IN THE FRIENDSHIP
You are important. Your friends are your friends because they like you and value your friendship. Constantly questioning why someone has befriended you, or why they “tolerate” or “put up with you” will only cause annoyance. Even the most patient people have a limit. If you find yourself questioning your value in the friendship, look inside and understand that you aren’t really doubting them, you are doubting you.
5. CONTROLLING THE FRIENDSHIP
Every healthy relationship is based on equality and honesty. Having complete control of every decision and having to be in charge of the relationship is unattractive, at best. Share the experience of friendship with others by inviting them into he decision-making. Ask them what they would like to do, or how they feel about something, instead of telling them. You will find a lot more people will enjoy your company when you include them in the important things.
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Obviously no one wants to be around a dishonest person. Therefore, lying is the fastest way to become unattractive. Honesty is needed for trust, and trust is needed for a solid, stable relationship. If you want to improve your relationships, you need to be honest with yourself and others.
7. BEING RUDE OR MEAN
Every day, people have to face things dislike. There is no need to be rude about it though. Making snarky comments, or rude remarks about someone’s choice of music or their attire will push people away from you. Decent human beings tend to gravitate towards positive people, so try to make your words reflect less negativity. As a plus, you will notice your quality of life improves when your outlook improves.
8. BEING UNRELIABLE
Constantly letting people down is a very unattractive trait. When someone needs your help, and you tell them they can count on you, they should really be able to trust your words. By being unreliable, you are basically telling the other person that they aren’t important, and no one wants to be friends with someone like that. We are all important, and their time is just as valuable as yours.
I believe that these 8 unattractive behaviours can be transformed into something beautiful, despite their ugliness. Recognizing the areas within ourselves that need improvement, and then working on those areas, is paramount for growth. And a person who is concerned about the betterment of themselves is pretty darn attractive.