You will never regret us.
You’re swimming in an ocean, and without notice or warning you begin slipping under the surface. You kick and kick, slowly losing your breath. You can’t breathe, but you keep kicking. No matter how hard you kick, how hard you try to scream, no one can hear you or help you. Your lungs are burning from the lack of oxygen; you can’t reach the surface. You keep reaching toward the sunlight; you see the surface, but you can’t get there. You’re stuck 10 feet under. You’re without air; you’re without your breath; you black out.
That’s anxiety. Anxiety consumes you; anxiety becomes you, and for hours you’re alone. You’re drowning, and no one can save you, no matter how loudly you yell.
As a result of constantly feeling like this, women with anxiety have their guard up. We handle almost everything with worry, and we are on edge, wondering what will set off our anxiety next, and just like that, we’re back feeling like we’re in that ocean.
We need reassurance.
Please be patient when we ask you for the tenth time if you’re leaving. We are not in control of our anxiety most of time, so we always want to know what you are thinking, so we are not blindsided because we want to be in control of something in our life. Even though we make you repeat yourself, do not ever think we are ever doubting you. The feeling we get when you know you aren’t leaving is so calming. We will love you for it, forever.
We need to feel safe.
Overprotective? Yes, please. Women with anxiety need to feel safe in their relationships. We are independent, so don’t get confused. We just need a little more safety. We need to know you are there, and you care. When we are out in public, we really don’t like randoms hitting on us or making us feel uncomfortable, and we’d really like for you to step in and handle it calmly. Because we need to feel safe, women with anxiety will never go out of their way to converse with randoms. You are our safety net, and you are the only one we will ever want. Please always remember that forever.
We form close bonds.
We lean on you a little more than normal girlfriends. When we’re happy, we’re happy; when we’re sad, we’re a mess. If we feel an ounce of anxiety, you are the first person we need. You are the only person we trust to handle us when we’re shaking, and when we are gasping for breath. Because you see us so vulnerable, we form a bond with you that you won’t ever have again, I promise you.
We will love you like no one else.
We tend to be a little much at times, yes. However, we trust you with our entire lives. Anxiety is real; what we feel is real, and knowing we have someone there who is attempting to understand and not leaving no matter how many times we question it. We love you because you are our protector, our lover and our calmer. You are so much more to us than a significant other. You are our world, and we are so incredibly thankful for it, and we will tell you 10 million times a day.
We will never let you go to sleep without feeling loved. No matter how many times you ask if we are OK, we always say yes because your happiness is more important than our own, even though you always know when something is wrong. We will hold you like no other woman will, and we will appreciate all the small things you do.
Anxiety controls your body. Anxiety controls your heart. The simple “we need to talk” throws our body in flight-or-fight mode, and we lose feeling. The simple “I don’t know anymore” turns our hearts inside out. Breakups are hard, but women with anxiety will struggle to find themselves again because they put so much faith into you. They love you more than you can ever comprehend, and once you love like that, it’s almost impossible to ever love like that again.
So, if you are dating a woman with anxiety, she is not a mess; she is not a prisoner; she is not a burden like she always thinks she is. She is a gift that should be treasured. We tend to need a little more TLC, but we will cherish you for it. Women with anxiety love differently. But I promise you, we will love you like no one else ever will.