By Raven Fon
Between the hours of when we wake up and when we go to sleep, we deal with a lot of people- and their behaviours. Whether it’s good or bad, it usually has an effect on how the rest of our day plays out.
While you may come across some people that will put a smile on your face or a spring in your step, others will undoubtedly make you feel like crap. If you let them.
It’s all about other people and their behaviour. Well, it’s about us too. We tend to allow all kinds of negativity to surround us, and what’s worse is that we start to accept it as a normal part of life.
We need to stop tolerating the behaviour of those people who make you feel miserable, the ones who suck the life out of you simply by being near them, and the ones who treat you in ways you would never treat someone else.
The following list consists of 6 toxic behaviours you should not allow in your life. After reading them, you can decide which relationships need to be worked on, and which ones need to be let go.
1. ALWAYS BEING NEGATIVE
A lot of people in today’s society seem to find more comfort in sharing their problems rather than their successes. Talking with someone about an issue that you are really struggling with is one thing- always needing to vent about a co-worker or spouse is another.
There is nothing worse than seeing someone approach you, or see their name on your phone and thinking, “Oh great. I wonder what they are going to complain about today…”
Stop letting people use negativity as a catalyst to start conversations. When drama rears its ugly head, cut it off, along with the conversation, and move on to something else. Choose to discuss more positive topics. You will notice either they have nothing to say and will move on to someone else, or they will appreciate the difference in the discussion and attempt a more positive approach. The latter is unlikely, but some people actually have no idea they are life-sucking blobs of negativity until you tell them.
2. DOUBTING YOUR CAPABILITIES
People who put you down or doubt what you are capable of, have no place in your life. Being told that you can’t do something which you very badly want to do, is toxic for the soul. Don’t give anyone the power to crush your dreams.
Surround yourself with a positive support structure and you will find achieving your goals comes a lot easier.
3. REPETITIVE LYING
This is my biggest annoyance. I feel my blood begin to boil and a quiet rage sweeps over me when I am lied to. I don’t lie to people, so I absolutely won’t tolerate it when someone does it to me. Neither should you.
When someone outright lies to you, or when they are constantly deceptive about their motives, they are showing you their true character- so pay attention. What people are really like, and what they say they are like are two totally different things.
4. NARCISSISTIC AND COMPETITIVE
You know those people who constantly inform you of how great they’re doing, or how well things are going for them? Not the ones who are genuinely proud of overcoming a drug addiction, or recovering from cancer, but the other ones. The people who want to show you their Rolex after finding out you’ve been fired. The people who pretend to care about your struggles only so they can compare them to the perfect life they have on display for everyone else.
These people are volatile and they lack self-love. Their actions are simply a precursor to the next behaviour on this list.
We frequently hear about children and teenagers who are bullied, but the fact is, adults are bullied just as often.
Bullying Statistics says, “The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult.
They are not interested in working things out and they are not interested in compromise. Rather, adult bullies are more interested in power and domination. They want to feel as though they are important and preferred.”
People who use their words to put you down, belittle you, or devalue your worth are only trying to cause pain. They may be family members or close friends whose behaviour we have learned to accept, but it needs to stop. No one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself.
6. MANIPULATIVE OR CONTROLLING
Sometimes we stumble on our paths and we look to our friends or loved ones to guide us back on track. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is when someone doesn’t release the reigns.
We make decisions that affect our daily lives and our futures on a near-constant basis. Letting someone else have control over how we react to certain situations, or how we handle the issues that really matter, is detrimental to our wellbeing. We can’t always control how people treat us, but we can control what we allow in our lives.
This list is meant to help those who are struggling to confront toxic behaviours in their relationships. I understand that we all have bad days, or days when we wake up to find our bubble of positivity already burst, but if you encounter the above listed behaviours on a constant basis, then something needs to change.
Speaking up for yourself or walking away from a situation that continuously upsets you may feel incredibly difficult at first, but, ultimately, the only person you are responsible for keeping healthy and happy is you. Don’t apologize for turning away from toxic behaviour that you don’t want or need in your life.