You might have the best intentions when speaking to people about their single lives. But certain things you say can annoy or even hurt them.
So for the sake of your single friends and loved ones, here are things you need to stop saying to single people, coming from one.
“How are you still single?”
This question is often meant as a compliment when you can’t understand why your attractive, smart, and funny friend hasn’t found someone yet. But it also implies that no normal person should still be single after all this time. And it forces single people to justify why they are not in relationships.
“You’re too picky.”
This backward message implies that single people should ignore their standards just for the sake of being in a relationship. It’s better to be picky than to settle. And there is nothing wrong with having high standards when it comes to finding a partner. So don’t tell single people otherwise.
“I’d invite you, but there will only be couples.”
Don’t say this after telling your single friend about your fun plans, unless you are trying to be mean. Maybe your single friend doesn’t feel awkward when hanging out with couples and they can have a fun time anyway. So don’t assume they will feel like the third or fifth wheel. Invite them, or don’t. Just don’t rub it in their face.
“So, what’s wrong with you?”
Though this is often said as a joke, it can be hurtful and cause single people to feel insecure. They may end up asking themselves, “What is wrong with me?” Or, they’ll be offended because you’re implying that there must be something wrong with single people.
“Don’t worry, you’ll find the right person eventually.”
Maybe they will find the right person and maybe they won’t. But when people say this to singles, they assume singles are stressed about being single. While it may be the truth for some, it isn’t for all. So don’t assume your single friend is constantly worried about finding someone.
“Maybe you should stop trying so hard.”
If your single friend is actively trying to meet people because they want a relationship, don’t tell them to stop. That is the worst advice you can give. How else will they meet someone if they don’t go out and meet new people? You might think that their eagerness to meet someone is scaring off potential partners. But if your friend is scaring off people, then they are meeting the wrong people for them anyway.
“You’d be more confident if you got a makeover or lost weight.”
While a new haircut can help people feel better, you should never suggest to a friend or loved one that they need to change their appearance to attract a mate. Saying this could hurt their self-esteem and make them feel less confident than they did before.
“Don’t you want to have kids?”
Not only is this question inconsiderate, but it is also unrealistic. Not everyone wants to have kids. And it’s hurtful to imply that they should want kids, especially before it’s “too late.” This question will also make single people feel worse if they are already worried about not being able to settle down in time to have kids