It’s no secret that Empaths feel it’s their obligation to save the world. And when they’re being manipulated by a Narcissist, this sense of obligation becomes their whole identity as the Narcissist plays the victim to excess.
It’s crucial for Empaths to acknowledge that Narcissists are disordered. When we support them, we are either knowingly or unknowingly supporting a lie, as the person we think we’re helping doesn’t really exist. While this fact alone is hard enough to swallow, following are four more painful truths that all Empaths must eventually face about Narcissists.
1 – The narcissist isn’t a tortured soul who needs your special kind of love
Almost every Empath who’s ever been in a relationship with a narcissist has held the belief that if they could just show the narcissist how deep their unconditional love ran, then the narcissist would finally have an epiphany where he or she realized that there is a special and rare kind of love available to them, after all.
The love of an Empath certainly has its healing qualities, but it does nothing to change a narcissist’s behaviors or motives in the relationship. Narcissists are morally bankrupt individuals who do not appreciate the things other people do for them. Instead, they feel completely entitled to whatever love and devotion are directed towards them. Almost every person the narcissist has been involved with gave them this unconditional love but, sadly, narcissists consider such love and devotion disposable.
2 – Although everyone admires and appreciates your compassionate nature, it also makes you highly attractive to narcissists
If everyone in the world boasted an Empath’s qualities, we’d live in a Utopia. But, sadly, the world is full of manipulators who seek out and exploit people with the Empath’s character traits, such as these:
Taking criticism to heart, reflecting on how their words and actions might affect other people.
Being highly empathic, having the ability to sense the emotions of others and respond instinctively in ways that help those in need.
Having a high level of tolerance, embracing the beliefs, practices, and lifestyles of other people.
Narcissists look for cooperativeness and compassion in partners because they know that they themselves don’t possess these traits at their most basic level, and excessively cooperative partners will put in the work of two people to keep the relationship going, projecting their own desirable traits onto the narcissist, thereby filling in the yawning gaps in order to make the relationship seem more normal.
3 – The narcissist isn’t interested in your deep thoughts
Empaths are deep thinkers who possess highly evolved viewpoints about people and the world. It’s hard to find anything that makes an Empath feel more alive than finding a kindred spirit to share their thoughts and opinions with.
Narcissists put on a good show, pretending to be enlightened and advanced in modern philosophies, but the truth about their close-minded dogmas is eventually discovered which profoundly shatters the Empath’s heart. Worse, once the relationship begins to sour, the narcissist typically mocks and ridicules the Empath for his or her views and theories.
4 – Even if you and the narcissist made contracts together before this lifetime, you must accept the necessity to move on without them
In the spiritual scheme of things, many people believe narcissists are put into our lives to help us evolve into healed, cosmically aware individuals.
While that may be true, we must recognize when it comes time to sever those ties and vows with the narcissist, which feels devastating for any Empathic individual with strong moral codes.
Whereas Empaths want to soothe the narcissist’s hurts and help them feel secure, the narcissist simply wants to siphon the Empath’s compassionate energy like fuel for an engine.
Even after the relationship ends, the energetic ties remain, despite the amount of time that elapses. And even though you may be apart from them now, you’re still deeply bonded to them energetically. This can drain your energy, as well as cause symptoms of depression and hopelessness. Therefore, it’s critical to cut the energetic ties with the narcissist so you can move on.
So, how do empaths protect themselves from narcissists?
Living a healed, balanced, and happy life means accepting these painful truths, even though the Narcissist cannot. They can’t be healed because for that to happen, they’d first need to acknowledge they are wounded. Instead, Narcissists use fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) to keep their targets perpetually catering to their every whim…and overlooking lies and broken promises.
Thanks to Kim Saeed for this beautiful article.