There’s no shame in wanting love — especially when you’re convinced you already have it. Some of us spend an awful lot of time dedicating ourselves to the pursuit of romance, that when even the slightest shred of it shows up somewhere, we hope for the best. We build it up. But not every relationship is a perfect love story.
Sometimes, we’re just too caught up in the moment to realize the clear signs that something is wrong. We become love-struck optimists. Eventually, though, reality will remind you that you’re being duped, so it’s healthy to be aware.
Keep reading to find the signs he’s not in love, you’re just convenient.
He never opens up emotionally. If you imagine that he’s not opening up, then that’s probably the case. When you’re not interested in someone, you don’t usually bother expressing yourself, mainly because you haven’t emotionally invested yourself in them. He’s not interested in your opinion.
You realize that he’s never not dated someone. If you’ve both opened up about your previous relationships, you may have noticed a pattern. You try to figure out when he’s ever actually had “me” time, and you realize that that’s never been the case since probably before puberty hit. He just likes the attention. It’s not you, specifically, that he needs.
He’s a total opponent of PDA. If he’s not willing to show affection in public, then there is something wrong. Sure, making out in front of people is a little weird, but he can’t even handle holding hands or pecks on the lips, it may beg you to wonder why he’s like that.
He keeps in touch with his exes. This is a red flag. If he’s over his exes, then why does he maintain constant conversations? Obviously, he’s not completely devoted to you, because if he was, he’d never disrespect you by keeping his old flames on the back burner.
You sometimes feel like a stranger around him. There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship where you feel a knot in the pit of your stomach. Something is off. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but when the two of you are together, you seem like strangers. This happens occasionally, and it’s not telling of something positive, that’s for sure.
He only knows you on a surface level. You like to think you know each other really well, but truth be told, you don’t. If you were to quiz him on the kind of information most couples know about each other, he’d fail. He knows you, but he doesn’t know the real you — the you that exists beneath the surface.
He always walks away from an argument. Couples argue, and that’s okay. But with him, arguments are more of a nuisance than anything else. Whenever they happen, it’s like he can’t be bothered. If you’re going to start something, he’s going to start walking away.
He never seems to care about where the relationship is going. When you try to talk about the future, he’s far from invested. It’s like he doesn’t even care. He seems perfectly comfortable keeping his attention on the present, and you can almost get a sense of hesitation if you bring up anything about the future.
He never seems concerned about you. Couples are there for each other. This isn’t even a requirement; it’s just what comes naturally. When you care about someone, you show concern. But he doesn’t. He seems to never have his emotional focus directed at you at all, actually.
He spends more time with friends than with you. Friend time is totally healthy in a relationship. A bit of distance can do wonders. But the two of you are hardly ever hanging out, and that’s because he’s always off with friends. If he doesn’t want you, that’s fine. You can break up. But he never makes any mention of that.
He never seems invested in the moment. When people don’t care about what they’re doing with someone, they most likely don’t care about that particular someone. This is the case with you. He doesn’t seem invested because his mind is on other things; things that have his attention far more than you do.
You’ve never met his family. If he were excited about being with you, he’d be excited about showing you off. But if that isn’t happening, then it’s a justified reason to wonder. You and his family don’t need to meet, in his eyes, because it doesn’t serve any genuine purpose.
You’ve just got an overall bad feeling. Sometimes, especially when you can’t put your finger on something, it’s best to just go with your gut. If something feels wrong, it may actually be wrong. If he seems like he doesn’t care, then he may not actually care.
You. What do you think? Do any of these signs ring true with a relationship you’ve been in, or maybe one you’re currently in…? Let us know in the comments below.