When it comes down to it, people who can’t admit that they did something wrong will find a way to twist the situation to put the blame on someone else. When situations like this happen, you have to remember that you can’t let someone make you feel guilty about their mistakes.
It isn’t your fault that someone changed their mind or that they aren’t into you. It isn’t your fault for someone’s ignorance or for their terrible behavior. It isn’t your fault that someone isn’t capable of being the person that you need them to be or that they aren’t willing to treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. And most certainly, it isn’t your fault when someone screws up how they handled a situation and try to put the blame on you.
It doesn’t matter if you are the one to call them out on it, it is their choices, their mistakes. All you can do is handle the situation the best way that you know how and remember that you did nothing wrong to deserve this type of behavior.
Everyone thinks that manipulators are easy to spot. Until they get manipulated, or guilted into doing something.
How does this happen?
Look, manipulative people don’t blast into your life announcing themselves with a theme song. They sneak in.
Scientific American published a series of papers showing that manipulators often gain entry into our lives through empathy. These people fake empathy and emotional intelligence as a cover-up for their true motives. Manipulators sneak in, figure you out, and use what they know against you for their gain.
Manipulative people are lurking everywhere. They prey on open, generous, and naive people to get what they want on their terms, with as little investment and effort as possible. Manipulative people find ways to take without giving. One of the ways they do this is to make you feel guilty. Cutting you down, keeping you beneath them, and laying on guilt when you fail to offer up what they want in full.
You can spot them by guilt followed by blame under an umbrella of entitlement. It’s your fault, never theirs. They never take responsibility for their actions and are never reciprocal in the relationship. Once you spot them, get rid of them. No second chances. No make-up parties. One strike, you’re out.
Lesson to be learned: Don’t let someone make you feel guilty about their mistakes. Some people will always find a way to twist the situation and try to put the blame on someone else. When they handle situations like this it says something about their character, not yours. All you can do is remember that you tried to handle the situation to the best of your ability and let them life the life they want to live.