In the age of modern dating, is what you see really what you get? According to this study, conducted by the University of Wisconsin-Madison, 81 percent of people lie about their weight, age, or height in their dating profiles.
The concept of people lying on the internet is certainly not shocking, but it certainly makes finding The One a lot more difficult than it has to be.
In a world of apps, websites, and social clubs all designed to find you the perfect partner, the world of dating has never been more complicated. So, how can you find the love of your life without losing your mind?
We’re looking at five of the most common mistakes women make when looking for The One
1. Being Too Goal-Oriented
When it comes to your life, it’s good to have goals. Marriage courses can help you get more in tune with your health and diet, work on self-love, give you the courage to start your own business. Hey, your goal may even be remembering to brush your teeth twice daily!
These are all noble aspirations. But when it comes to dating, being goal-driven may not be as beneficial as it is in other aspects of your life.
You may want to get married, get a puppy, buy a house, and start a family, but this should not be your goal.
Think of a relationship like this: There is a beginning, a middle, and a happily ever after. You should enjoy every step of a relationship.
While it’s important to find someone who shares the same life plans as you, if you try and skip right to the happily ever after when looking for The One, you’re going to miss the middle of your relationship – and it’s definitely something you don’t want to miss.
2. Waiting “Until”
Another common mistake women make when dating is thinking that they can’t date “until…”
Until what, you may ask?
Until you’re healthier, fitter, more successful at work, more financially stable, until you have a home, until you can wake up without putting your alarm on snooze every morning.
Don’t let your insecurities stop you from finding love.
Taking marriage courses before heading into the dating world can actually help you attain self-love and be a better spouse to your future partner.
Instead of giving yourself a million and one reasons about why you’re not ready to date, be assertive. Furthermore, be clear about what you want.
Studies show that if you’re not looking for a hookup or casual dating, you need to say so. The dating website Plenty of Fish conducted a study that found people who used the word “love” in their profiles were more successful in finding meaningful relationships through online dating.
3. Mismatched Expectations
Dating is a difficult game. Either your expectations are way out of the park or they’re far too low.
As previously brought out, it’s good to have characteristics and qualities in mind when you’re looking for your perfect partner. But setting your sights too high can make finding the love of your life unattainable and fruitless.
On the other hand, the more frustrated you feel with your dating life, the more likely you are to settle for someone you wouldn’t normally date.
Don’t let your desire to be in a relationship override your self-worth. You are fantastic and deserve someone who is just as crazy about you as you are about them.
Time is your best friend when it comes to finding your dream partner. Be patient and you’ll find them.
4. You’re Overthinking Everything
Nerves are normal on a first date and they may make you do or say things you wouldn’t otherwise do like ordering that extra glass of wine or oversharing about a past relationship or personal problems.
Don’t overthink your date. You’re having fun, you want a future with somebody, but don’t let your desire for a real connection override your ability to make conversation.
Of course you want your new potential partner to get to know you, but don’t make the date all about you. Great conversation is all about the give and take. Ask them about where they grew up, their family, what they do for fun, what music they like, and the list goes on. Having a healthy back and forth will do wonders for your communication skills.
5. Only Dating Online
There are hundreds, if not thousands of dating apps and websites available to help you find the partner of your dreams. But in order to find them, you actually have to meet them in person – and according to a 2013 Pew Research Center survey, one-third of people using online dating services will never actually meet the people they’re talking to!
And if you do meet, statistics still aren’t on your side. Studies show that couples who meet online are more likely to break up than couples who meet organically.
Yes, one common mistake women make when looking for The One is only focusing on online dating.
There is a popular motivational image online that looks like this: There is a circle on the image. Inside the circle, there is text that reads: Your comfort zone. Outside the circle reads: Where the magic happens.
Yes, in order to make that magical connection, you need to be willing to step outside your comfort zone.
Why not start taking classes for some of your interests? Take a creative writing class, learn an instrument, language, take up photography, or go do a group exercise. These create great opportunities to meet someone that you already know shares at least one of your interests.
Dating isn’t always easy, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be fun! Don’t be afraid to take advantage of marriage courses even as a single. Doing so can help you discover what you truly desire from a partner, which will help you get the most out of your dating life.
Author Bio: Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.