There are a lot of things we could do that will send red flags to our partner and have them running in the other direction. Here are 11 things that will end a relationship before it begins.
11. Being Free 24/7
Sure you’ve got a few days off and you have a ton of free time but your potential partner doesn’t need to know that. Don’t make it a habit of texting him or her whenever you get off work and you will see that doing the chasing was really just a waste of time. If they want to link up, they’ll let you know. This is in no way saying you shouldn’t show interest. The best thing you can do now is make sure that everything is balanced. Your time is precious so fill it with hobbies and your own priorities.
10. Treating His/Her Phone Like A GPS
When your new guy or girl has told you they are going out for the night with their friends, don’t bother them. Chances are they wanted to be out for a reason. If you bother them with little things while they are out they can’t miss you! Also, don’t use their phone as a personal paging or GPS device to locate where they are via text message. You don’t need to know their every move. It’s healthy to think before you text — although that can be a challenge, we know.
9. Being Insecure
You may find yourself getting a little bit jealous of their ex. You may even leave passive aggressive comments right underneath theirs on social media. Please, refrain from doing that because, truth be told, you’re just making yourself look envious, jealous, and kind of crazy, because remember, you guys haven’t even made it official yet. When you do, still refrain from making insecure comments or acting jealous.
8. Finding Out Who’s Sliding In Their DM
You’re going to check their Twitter and Instagram but don’t freak if you see someone send some emojis that you felt you were only entitled to send. Relax. Don’t hunt down the chick or dude that you think may be sliding in their DM. Go with an open mind. As the old saying goes, if you are looking for trouble, you’re sure to find it. Don’t panic if you see flirting. People are capable of making their own decisions and talking to whomever they like! You’re not in charge of them.
7. Getting Too Cozy, Too Soon
You can like your crush to the moon and back but make sure you don’t start getting too comfortable with their company too soon. Doing their dishes, cutting their grass, and assuming other marital duties could lead to a scared crush or, even worse, a crush that thinks they’ve got you wrapped around their finger. Getting way too close too soon is going to leave you disappointed if the schedule changes when they leave town for work or simply don’t want to keep getting to know you. Don’t sleep in their bed every night and respect their personal space.
6. Going Ring Shopping
When you’re getting to know someone, it’s important to wait and see if they have any desire to be in a long-term relationship or if they are just trying to hit it and quit it. Don’t go ring shopping after a couple of weeks and don’t talk about moving in. There’s so much that you can learn about a person and time is really all you need. Make your own plans and please don’t even think about cancelling plans for the new person in your life.
5. Facebook Stalking
When you do background checks, don’t ask them questions and then say, “That’s just something I learned on Google or Facebook about you.” They’re going to know that you’ve done your research when you start mentioning relatives that they didn’t even share with you. Sure, you’re dying to know if they have any glitches, but you need to understand personal space. If they are attracted to you and tell you something, try to act innocent until proven guilty and not the other way around. You’ll be saving your heart from an emotional rollercoaster.
4. Making Plans With Their Parents
Don’t skip a step and go directly to their parents to start planning spa dates or dinner with the family without consulting the person you’re seeing. You don’t want your feelings hurt and trust me, this is all you have to do to get an unhappy potential to never talk to you again or have to break it to you that you made a terrible decision by reaching out to them in the first place. When you both like each other a great deal, things will start falling into place and you’ll have that family bond soon enough.
3. Saying The “L” Word
Don’t use it. Just don’t. You both are just dating and this is a word you should only be using if you’re talking about a pair of shoes, friends, or family members. I know too many friends who fell into some feelings and pulled the “L” word trigger too soon only for things to go sour after a very short time. There’s a good chance they may think you make impulsive decisions or statements and sometimes that doesn’t sit too well with the recipient of the “L” word. Act and speak with caution.
2. Making It Official Way Too Fast
There’s a difference between being focused on someone and monitoring their every move eagerly awaiting the magical question, “Wanna make things official?” Try to make everything as organic as possible so you know without a shadow of a doubt that no one was rushing anyone and that you’re moving at a healthy pace. You don’t need to be in an official bind for you both to enjoy each other, so why not enjoy what you’ve got going on so far and to hell with the rest until things are ideal for both parties.
1. Racing Thoughts
Don’t assume anything. You may read too much into your new partner saying your hair looks nice when you’ve got a new terrible haircut. Don’t assume that because you think your hair is terrible, that must mean they think so, too. They are perfectly entitled to their opinion and you don’t want to get into the habit of reading too much into everything. Chances are, it’s way too soon to even joke, so don’t make things more complicated than they need to be. Easy peasy.