Have you ever looked back at a relationship and the way he treated you, only to shake your head or wonder how in the world you possibly accepted such treatment?
Or, maybe you’ve listened to a friend tell you about their experiences and you can’t bring yourself to fathom why they put up with it for so long – except you realize that you’ve done it yourself?
Here are five things to walk away from as soon as you see them creeping into your relationship:
When he attempts to control you.
Being controlling is not always an obvious action that someone takes. He is not necessarily going to directly tell you not to do something, but he will make comments that make you question your decisions.
“Why do you wear so much makeup when you go out with your friends?” isn’t a genuine question about your makeup habits – it’s subliminally telling you that he thinks you’re looking for other guys’ attention when you’re out without him, or it’s telling you that he wants you to wear less makeup so you’re less confident and therefore less likely to leave him because you don’t think you can do better.
Being controlling may start out with small things like this, but if you allow them to continue, it will be easy to lose sight of what’s really important to YOU, and the life that YOU want to live.
When he overlooks the small things.
How many times have you found yourself saying something like: “Well, it’s not really that big of a deal.” or “Guys don’t really pay attention to detail anyway”…?
Let me tell you, when a man is interested in something (or someone) you damn well bet he pays attention to detail.
The most important part, though, is the point that if you can’t trust someone with the small things, you certainly cannot trust someone with the big things. How could you trust him with major life events or challenges if he doesn’t even put in the effort to make sure the small things are taken care of?
When he is super jealous.
Don’t get me wrong, he should absolutely be protective of you and look out for your best interest at all times – but this doesn’t mean he should jump on top of every single thing you do with suspicion. Trust is paramount in a relationship, and someone who is always jealous (And trying to eliminate the opportunities for this to happen – see point #1), simply does not trust you, or themselves.
When he does things to make YOU jealous.
No man who truly cares about your feelings will act in ways that manipulate them or intentionally hurt them. He should never be making you insecure about how he feels or about how stable your relationship is.
When he always avoids responsibility.
Here’s the thing about people who never admit to making mistakes: This means they also can never learn, grow, or develop – because why would they? If nothing is ever their fault, then there is never a reason to change. And, if there’s not a reason to change, then there’s not a reason to communicate about what needs to be changed.
And, the cycle continues.
One can easily see how a person like this is impossible to build a relationship with, because everything will always constantly be your fault. Healthy relationships rely on healthy communication patterns in order to thrive. Without this being present, there is simply no way to evolve together.
Have you ever experienced any of these? Let me know in the comments, or chime in with what I’ve left out and should have included.