They don’t sound like someone you would be drawn to, but many women are attracted to these guys at first. Especially if they’ve recently come out of a narcissistic relationship, the attention and loving gestures might make someone think they have found the perfect guy.
Through the eyes of a woman who has been scarred by one of these toxic relationships, an insecure guy might just seem sensitive and interested in you.
That is only half true…what he is really interested in is the love you can offer. However, you should be cautious- an insecure guy can also be a constant drain who will leave you questioning what love really is…and if it’s worth all this.
Here are 6 warning signs of an insecure man (and honestly, these can go for women too)
1. They have no life without you.
He might be an introvert, or sensitive to the energy of others. Or he might actually have no life outside of you. No friends, no outside interests, no hobbies…all of this can seem great at first. After all, who wouldn’t want to spend all of their time with someone they care about? But after a while, being on a pedestal and having to be someone’s only source of entertainment becomes downright exhausting.
2. They doubt you have moved on from your past.
It could have been years since your last relationship, and he will still bring up your ex and ask questions that probably make you uncomfortable. The insecurity is so overwhelming, that he thinks he could never be loved fully. So the only logical conclusion he comes up with is that you must still be in love with your ex.
3. They immediately say those three words.
It could be as soon as the first date. Then he professes his undying love for you. Honestly, that should be warning sign number one that something isn’t quite right here. While it is nice to have someone feel so strongly for you so quickly, the reality is that it is a false sense of “love.” It takes time to get to know a complete picture of someone, and falling in love with them takes more than a day. On top of all of this, you may feel pressured to say it back immediately, which sets a fast paced tone for the relationship, and usually ends poorly.
4. They must be validated at all times.
“Do you love me?” You will hear that every 5 minutes. Along with fishing for compliments. Even after you praise them for something they have done, or tell them how attractive they are, they never believe you. Which leave you feeling like you are talking to a brick wall. His low self-esteem will drive a wedge between you.
5. They have jealousy issues.
Even with your friends. He will get jealous of the time you give to them, when you could be spending it with him. They worry that you are walking about them, or laughing about something they said, and create this entire scenario in their head where they are the victim. God forbid you have a friend of the opposite gender…all hell will break loose.
6. “Maybe I should leave.”
The final tactic these types like to use is to threaten to break up with you. This is utterly toxic. He will say things like “I don’t feel like you really love me,” or “I don’t feel wanted.” He wants you to beg him to stay in the relationship, and by proxy, secure his validation for being needed.
If you are dating someone who employs these tactics, your best bet is to move on from the relationship before any more damage is done. You can’t fix someone who insists on repeating the same behaviours. Work on yourself and the right people will find their way into your life.
By Raven Fon