Don’t make your search harder than it has to be.
1. Developing feelings for anyone who acts kindly towards you.
Just because a boy is nice to you doesn’t mean that you should automatically force yourself to fall in love with him. There are many factors that go into determining the strength of a relationship and kindness plays only a very small part of it. You also have to consider compatibility and genuine affection among other things.
2. Turning to Tinder to help you find dates.
Social media is great for a lot of things – but it doesn’t do much in helping you find your soulmate.
3. Thinking that you should never text a guy first.
There are new rules. And the new rules are that there are no rules. Just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean that you can’t take the lead. You shouldn’t be afraid of being forward in your pursuits for love.
4. Having ill feelings about the fact that you’re still single.
Embrace singlehood. You can’t expect yourself to ever be in a healthy relationship with another person if you can’t have a healthy relationship with yourself first. If you rely on your relationship for happiness, then you become overly dependent and needy. And that makes for a toxic relationship environment.
5. Avoiding the difficult conversations just because they make you uncomfortable.
Difficult conversations are inherent aspects of any healthy relationship. You should always be willing to be open and honest with your partner if you really want things to pan out well. Eventually, you will grow to discover that having difficult talks with your soulmate won’t be so uncomfortable after all.
6. Changing your style and appearance to suit another person’s tastes.
You shouldn’t have to change fundamental aspects of who you are just to cater to other peoples’ tastes. Be your own person and stand your ground.
7. Relying on alcohol to get you in the mood to talk to guys.
Lay off the juice. Yes, a little liquid courage can help in very specific situations. But you have to do things in good taste. Keep it classy. You can’t just keep on getting wasted and drunk for the rest of your life so that you will have the courage to interact with boys. You have to be able to rely on your own charisma and charm.
8. Refusing to take the initiative to plan dates with someone you like.
Take the lead. Take control of the situation. If you want the ball to be on your court, then you can’t afford to waste any opportunities.
9. Settling for being in relationships that don’t make you happy.
You shouldn’t be so desperate so as to settle for relationships that are beneath you. You still need to be able to hold on to your dignity. You still need to make sure that you are looking out for yourself. It’s better for you to be single than to be in a relationship that doesn’t bring you any happiness.
10. Comparing every single guy that you date to other men you’ve dated before.
Stop with all the comparisons. Men don’t like to be compared to other men. And if you continue to do so with every single guy you have the opportunity of dating, then things are never going to work out. You will only end up alienating them and making them feel uncomfortable.
11. Keeping quiet about things that you have strong opinions on.
Just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that you should keep mum about things because you’re afraid of disagreeing with them. There is always room for conflict and disagreement in all relationships. And if you continue to just censor yourself, your partner will grow to not trust you because you just never come clean about what’s on your mind and in your heart.
12. Not wanting to engage in dating with guys in real life.
Stop resorting to social media dating apps. Stop limiting yourself to the online realm. You are depriving yourself of genuine physical connections with guys if you refuse to step out into the real world.
13. Comparing your own love life and relationships to those of your friends.
Everyone moves at their own very specific paces. You have to remember that. Just because a lot of your friends have relationships that look a certain way doesn’t mean that you have to have it that way for yourself as well. You need to be able to just be confident in the fact that you’re marching to the beat of your own drum. And love will come for you in its own time. You can’t rush or delay it.
14. Thinking that you’re just not meant for love.
Before you can allow love to walk into your life, then you actually have to believe that you are worthy of that love. You will find it really difficult to find a man who will love you the way that you want to be loved if you can’t make him see that you’re deserving of it first.