Toxic men are the worst. They are the ones who totally mess every single aspect of our lives up. But why is it that smart women – intuitive ladies who are supposedly smart enough to know better – still end up falling in love with the worst of what man has to offer. Others will say that emotions are always stronger than logic and that’s why smart, intuitive people are still susceptible to making mistakes in love. But it turns out, studies have concluded that it’s not just purely psychological or emotional. There is a scientific aspect to it.
The brain is a magnificent instrument. It is deeply complex and not even the most prominent specialists in the world have fully uncovered the entire makeup of a human brain and what makes it tick. But of course, with relentless study over time, experts have come to discover that brains are actually wired to desire and focus on the people who aren’t necessarily going to be healthy for us. That’s the reason why a lot of women still have a tendency to fall for men who are emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, toxic, selfish, and polygamous.
These types of men (whether knowingly or not) capitalize on the weaknesses of these women’s brains and they often lure them into less-than-ideal relationships. And the worst part of this whole situation is that women tend to become addicted to the emotional and mental (and sometimes, even physical) abuse brought about by these toxic relationships. It’s the same way a person can get addicted to a drug that is essentially killing him or her.
There is a reason why people typically find it so hard to move on and get over those exes who just led them on a leash of ambiguity. There is a reason why some girls just can’t seem to let go of that guy who consistently broke her heart – and she kept coming back for more. The reason is this: in a lot of cases, the bad treatment that men inflict on these women in relationships is actually what keeps them coming back for more. It’s the terrible relationship environment that keeps them hooked and invested.
When a girl is first introduced to a toxic male partner, she becomes hooked with a simple formula. He gives her just enough to let her know that she knows that she wants this from him; but he withholds and withdraws just as much to keep him chasing after her. He gives her just enough to make her happy; but he keeps a lot to himself to drive her crazy about him. And the only way that girls could ever avoid falling into this mental and emotional trap set by these toxic men is if they actually become aware that they are being victimized by these guys.
Self-awareness is always the first step to getting out of a hole. You can’t fix the problem if you don’t acknowledge that it’s there. And that’s what this article is trying to do.
It’s trying to make women aware of the potential mistakes that they are likely to make in relationships with toxic men; while also telling them that their unfortunate situations are not narratives that they have to settle for. The more a woman knows about the tactics and techniques that are usually employed by the toxic and emotionally unavailable man, the better equipped she will be to stand up to them.
She will be able to harden her defenses. She won’t become as invested in something she knows to be a sham; in something that she knows will be had for her in the long run. Hormones often rule our body when we let them, but that doesn’t mean we should lose all control. Our willpower should always be our strongest armor against toxic partners in relationships.
There are very specific chemicals and hormones in our bodies that actually lead us to becoming attached to people and relationships that are bad for us. These hormones and chemicals include the following:
Dopamine is the part of the brain that makes us addicted to rewards. We try our best to do good for our toxic partners in the hopes that they eventually reward our good behavior. When they do throw niceties towards us, that’s when the Dopamine kicks in.
Oxytocin is the chemical within is that is triggered by the power of a physical touch between two people who are attracted to one another. It’s also the chemical in the body that could lead you to becoming more trusting of someone even when they aren’t deserving of that trust.
Serotonin is the chemical in our body that leaves our judgement sound and rational. But when our serotonin levels are too low, then that’s when we start making poor decisions – these decisions might feel good at first, but are potentially harmful in the long run.