Most blamers see nothing wrong in blaming others for anything and everything. When things go wrong in their own lives, someone else is always to blame — nothing is ever their fault. They tend to be irrational; therefore you can’t reason with them. Don’t even try.
It’s best to avoid this type of personality (narcissistic), as this disorder includes being negative, which can have a destructive affect on you
Don’t become a victim of a negative personality. It can literally ruin your life, especially if you and your accuser are related or are close friends.
You may even be better off by choosing to disassociate (and thereby severing) the toxic relationship. If you find that you just can’t do this, at least set up specific boundaries to protect yourself.
The Truth Will Set You Free
At one time or another, most of us are blamed for something we didn’t do. It feels unjust and unfair. And, it is. Even though we may be completely guiltless, we feel guilty.
The Accusation is a Reflection of Your Accuser, Not You
I’ve learned that anyone who accuses us of improper behavior and lies isn’t really worth worrying about. Your accuser has personal issues that have absolutely nothing to do with you. At the time you are being blamed, knowing this may not help much. Even so, it is true.
Often, jealousy, insecurity, and low self-esteem are coursing through a liar’s veins. The only way they can feel their own importance is to gossip viciously about other people, bringing them down so that they themselves can feel better about who they are.
You Don’t Need to Prove Your Innocence
You do not need to prove your innocence to anyone if you are indeed innocent. You already know in your heart that you have clean hands. This is all that matters. It is not necessary to prove to anyone that you are not guilty. Do not fuel the evil fire by giving these lies power.
Learning New Strategies for Dealing With Blamers
Help is on the way. You’re going to feel relieved as you learn how to deal and cope with destructive behavior. No longer will you have to be a victim of blame and negativity.
Armour yourself with knowledge. Like a bullet-proof vest, the toxic blame will bounce right off of you. The more aware you are, the better. You will avoid these types of relationships and save your self-esteem.
7 Key Signs of a Blamer
The following list will help you identify the signs and behaviors of a blamer:
Pessimism. Pessimism is one of the sure signs of a blamer. No matter how positive you are, they will always find something bad to happen. There’s often no talking them out of their negative thinking.
Making excuses. Blamers are always making excuses for their own actions. They are very good at this.
Passing the blame. Blamers will tend to always pass the blame on to someone else, while never taking responsibility for their actions.
Quick temperament. Being quick-tempered can be another sign to watch for. Blamers are known to have short fuses.
Takes credit. A blamer always insists on credit for being right. Oh, how they love to shout, “I told you so!”
Betrayal. Being trust-worthy is not part of a blamer’s character. They are typically back-stabbers. So, be very careful. If you don’t want something you say to be repeated, then don’t say it.
Envy. Envy is the blamer’s middle name. Any time you get something nice, they become angry and envious. This includes any success you might have. When you’re sick or in pain, believe me — they’re happy. They may not realize this and in fact will deny it. Then, when you feel great and positive again, they may immediately remind you that “soon, bad things will happen, so don’t get too comfortable.”
Beware of people who automatically assume the fault is yours. After all, it could never be their fault. By the way, these people also love to play mind games. They rehearse their entire dialogue so they will be prepared for your next conversation. It’s a full time job for them.