5 Brutal But Essential Lessons 2019 Has Already Taught Me

Even thought this year has only just began (queue Carpenter’s song) there are a lot of hard lessons that have been learned.

Know when to say yes, know when to say no. You cannot please everyone. You are one person. You don’t have to say you’ll be late and just say you don’t want to come. You can say no without making up an excuse. You can say no just because it’s not for you. Say yes when it is for you. Say yes to fresh adventures. Say yes to new experiences. Say yes to people that are genuine and real and make it easy to just be you. You are not obligated to anyone but yourself and people that do not understand that do not understand you.

If you love them. Tell them. I’ll never understand the fear in telling someone how infatuated you are with them. Yes, I know it’s hard to be happy because there will always be sadness that follows. I used to be that person. But why not appreciate the sunny days while its still here just because you’re dreading the storm on the horizon? I like crossing bridges when I get there. All I can do is feel what is here right now. I tell my boyfriend of eight years I love him every chance I get. Sometimes, I say it too much. But I’d rather say it too much than too little. Never assume they know what you’re feeling. Say it. Out loud. Sometimes, I let him feel my wrath when he’s being annoying – that my friends, is why storms are named after people.

You can say so much, but they choose to hear so little. What’s that saying? You can lead a horse to the river but you can’t make it drink the water. No matter how much advice you say to anyone that need it most, it can always go in one ear and out the other. It’s like talking to a wall. They’ll always do and choose what they want for them at the end of the day. You can’t change people. You might not agree with it but you’ve done your part. You were there. You were willing to help at one point. Have peace knowing you were.

Don’t shrink for people’s comfortability. Lesson learned. Like the ocean, people have different wavelengths. I am done going down to a level of comfort that I am no longer in in. If they can’t meet you half-way, stay where you are. For someone who has shrunk herself for others many times, I’ll stay where I am. Don’t shrink for people’s comfortability. Grow as much and as fast as you want. It’s not your fault they choose to make homes out of comfort zones and you choose to grow and continue to leave yours.

Some people don’t have the same heart as you. Happiness, infatuation, courtesy, passion — amongst a lot more things — is not the same to you as it is to others. It is not your job to believe the way they do. It is not your job to change them. Your only job is to understand them. Where they come from. But it’s also important they understand you. Relationships only work when people in it do. People that are willing to do that with you are your people. Everyone else sorted themselves out in your life.

Self-love is self-care and that’s not selfish. You first. If you are not taken care of, how do you expect to take care of anyone else? If you don’t love yourself, how do you expect to love anyone else? Take time for yourself when life seems too much. It’s okay to not post on Instagram everyday. It’s okay to take soul vacations by yourself.