Have you ever felt disappointed at someone’s lack of attention? Do you sometimes feels that you put way more into relationships than what you get back, almost as if you’re chasing someone for their time? Have you ever thought that this may be because you put others before yourself? Give it a thought.
Sometimes when we love someone, we overlook their behaviour. That which we would find objectionable in others we let slide for those we love. But maybe by continuously doing this we are setting a wrong example. Maybe we are telling them through our actions or rather inaction that we are alright with being disrespected or unloved. Think about it.
Love often makes us chase after people, they may be our friends, family or love interests and all the chasing somehow over a period of time just hurts your self esteem and self respect apart from just hurting in general.
So stop. Stop running after them. Stop chasing. Make yourself a priority because it’s the most important thing you’ll ever do. And if people leave once stop running after them, then maybe they just don’t deserve to be in your life. Maybe they never did.
The chase isn’t only about romantic relationships – “the chase” might actually be affecting you with the people you chose to be friends with too.
So how do you know if you’re “chasing” and not being “chosen” and possibly destroying your self confidence in the process? Here are a few examples:
1- You chase until you feel chosen (but that “chosen” feeling is only temporary).
2- You leave the time spent with the person you’re “chasing” feeling anxious/wanting more, or feel anxious until that person “chooses” to be with you.
3- You change your plans (that are usually important to you) in order to be with that person – thus telling them (and yourself!) that their time is more important than your own
4- You are constantly are thinking about what the other person is doing, instead of worrying about what you yourself want to do
5- You don’t really feel “good” after the hangout (maybe a temporary boost of happiness) but in the end you’re not fulfilled and as confident as you feel when you’re with your true friends (who choose you too)
So what is all of this chasing doing to your confidence? Let’s see just how…
If you don’t value your own time, how will someone else value it when you’re chasing their availability but not making your time your priority? By partaking in the chase, you strip away a little bit of your confidence every time you take a lap in the chasing game and allow yourself to go down the anxiety rabbit hole.
Chasing will only fill up your “feel good” cup temporarily. Think of your “feel good” cup as having a hole in it (that hole is anxiety) – it feels so good to be full for a second but because you’re chasing and not being chosen, the anxiety hole will drain all of that goodness inside of you.
You’re basically saying the other person is more important than you are.
Now what do we do to make sure the “feel good” cup stays full of our confident goodness? Here are a few helpful tips:
Don’t choose people who don’t choose you. Look for signs that you’re “chasing” someone and be honest with yourself about how this relationship REALLY makes you feel. If you see a hole in your cup, find the strength to walk away. (Trust, we know how hard it is…but your self worth demands it).
Own your awesomeness. Remember your time is most important than anyone else’s. Once you find the love for yourself you might be lacking, you’ll never need to chase anyone ever again.
It’s no longer all about the chase, it’s about the choice.