We are all humans and being human means that we commit a lot of mistakes every day. While it takes a lot of time and effort to build ourselves up, we also tend to do things that destroy us and we tend to do them unconsciously. We have certain habits, certain attitudes and certain thoughts that do not add to our well-being but make us weaker and less confident.
Here, we have a list of 11 things that most of us do to ourselves and end up feeling worse about ourselves.
We are all imperfect and life is all about moving towards betterment and living in pursuit of perfection. But instead of trying to be better, we indulge in self-doubt and we question our own capabilities all the time. Self-doubt leads to lower self-confidence and poor performance which in turn further lowers our self-esteem.
#2 Constant comparisons
We are creatures of comparison. Does someone have a better car than I do? Is someone else’s life better than mine? Why is someone more successful than me? These are some of the most common questions we have in our thoughts and these thoughts do not let us grow but make us even weaker mentally.
#3 Unrealistic goals
We do set up unrealistic goals for ourselves. We overestimate our capacities sometimes and try to do things which are really beyond our capabilities. When this happens, we are bound to fail and this failure further dents our confidence and makes us doubt ourselves even more.
#4 Getting obsessed
A lot of us get obsessed with things or people and this obsession takes over our minds and souls. Falling obsessively in love with someone, for example, can be really detrimental and if that love is not returned, our obsession may easily turn into resentment. And resentment adds negativity to our lives which is not easy to do away with.
We are in a bad habit of pitying ourselves. It may be a breakup, failure in examinations, not being promoted at work etc. but the fact that we did not achieve something makes us act like victims. Instead of gearing up and fighting again, we blame our fate and curse our destiny, feeling weaker with each judgment we pass on ourselves.
#6 Excessive self-judgment
Reflecting on thoughts is a good thing, contemplating our own behavior is excellent but we do not stop there and we try to pass judgment on ourselves. ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I am not capable’ etc. are some of the negative judgments we pass on ourselves and end up feeling so low that our morale dips and anxiety seep in.
#7 No faith in our own bodies
A lot of are extremely paranoid about the way we look. Being comfortable in our bodies is something we learn as we mature but a lot of us do not accept themselves for who they are. This lack of self-acceptance means that we do not give ourselves the self-belief which we owe to ourselves and end of feeling bitter and down.
#8 Poor habits
Our habits define us to a large extent and we have a lot of poor habits which keep us tied down. It may be anything from bad diet to smoking to procrastination but the fact is that these bad habits do not let us reach our true potential, making us weaker by the day.
#9 Pushing important people away
We are in the habit of taking people for granted. We are always attracted towards those we cannot have and end up pushing away those who love us. This causes people to move away from us and we find ourselves alone when we need them the most. Pushing those who love us is something we do unconsciously and it really hurts in the long-run.
#10 No well-defined priorities
Not all of us have a mind which is clear in its thoughts and organized in its manner. Not all of us are capable of understanding our priorities and sticking to it. Most of us are disorganized and end up spending more time and effort on things that may have no value as compared to those things which may.
#11 We fuel our own insecurities
We are excellent at fueling our own insecurities. ‘Do I look fat? I must be fat. Everyone hates me.’ This is the kind of mental conversation we often have and instead of addressing our own issues, we end up aggravating them. With a simple statement like ‘I am not good enough’, we end up destroying our confidence and we do it almost every day.