As kids, our strict parents seem like the they are holding us back, holding us back from all the fun our classmates with more permissive parents get to experience. However, when it comes to adulthood, it’s possible that the same strictness that felt restrictive, now propels you forward. In fact, studies have even shown that strict parenting has benefits in adulthood. Here, we break down why it is more important than ever for parents to put their foot down.
Why children need… Children need strict parents. Strict doesn’t mean authoritarian parenting styles, but rather authoritative. The difference being authoritative parenting is based on power play and coercion, whereas authoritative is issued-based and more pragmatic rather than set to a standard, Psychology Today reports.
Why children need… Authoritative parents are actually more strict than authoritarian parents, because even though they have less set rules than an authoritarian parent, they are better at enforcing them, according to Psychology Today. This is widely regarded as the most effective parenting technique.
Why children need… Authoritarian parents tend to raise children who are depressed with lower self-esteem in comparison to their authoritatively-raised counterparts. According to Psychology Today, authoritatively raised children are well-adjusted, well-behaved, and well-achieving.
Why children need…Permissive parenting can be damaging to a child as well. It’s easier to give into a child in an effort to keep the peace and keep them happy, however the negative effects of this lax parenting are far too great. This parenting can lead to spoiled children with a lack of self-discipline, according to Very Well.
Why children need… The key to strict parenting is to do it right. Obviously, this is easier said than done. No one wants to be known as the “mean” or “strict” parent. “Good parents want their children to be happy, but to be a great parent one has to recognize that sometimes long-term happiness means short-term unhappiness,” Psych Central reports.
Why children need… In a Psych Central blog, Tyler Jacobson, highlights the dangers of trying to be a cool parent. Although it’s natural to want to bond with your child through hip music or lingo, it’s important to realize ultimately you’re not their friend.
Why children need… If they don’t think you’re cool, it means you’re probably doing something right. Not only can trying to be cool can teach your kids to put a premium on fitting in, but you may simultaneously losing their respect, Psych Central reports.
Why children need… “A child with no rules or boundaries fails to learn to respect authority in school, jobs, and society in general. Children who get everything they want never learn patience or frugality. A child who has never failed or faced real consequences is robbed of the ability to handle strong emotions and the resilience that comes from failure,” Jacobson writes.
Why children need… So, for parents who teeter on the edge of over leniency or the opposing authoritarian style, it’s important to find that crucial balance. Jacobson highlights three ways to incorporate healthy sternness into your parenting style.
Why children need… Give your child a list of chores that they are solely responsible for, making sure that the list accounts for more their own area. Enforcement is key. Tell them they cannot enjoy other privileges until the chores are complete.
Why children need… The child may not be happy, but the key is staying calm. “This is when you do get to be a cool parent and let them know their attitude and loss of privileges is THEIR problem, not yours,” Jacobson writes.
Why children need… Technology is a problem more than ever, and it’s regulation is an important part of parenting. Obviously, taking technology out of the picture altogether is not recommended. You simply should monitor their tech time, to prevent excessive use.
Why children need… Of course, every rule you give your children won’t go over seamlessly. There will be some push back and they will need structure. Their should be consequences for negative choices, like coming home late or using inappropriate language, according to Psych Central.
Why children need… This is effective for raising responsible and respectful children. “It’s especially effective if you use behavior modification to combine negative reinforcement consequences (taking something away as punishment) with positive reinforcement consequences (rewarding them for doing something right),” Jacobson writes.
Why children need… Findings from a study at the University of Essex further proved that strict parents raise more successful children. The children with strict mothers were more confident and secure, according to Newz Magazine. So, even though it may pain you to send your adorable offspring to their room, it’s probably for the best!