Adult Children of Toxic Parents — who are they? Many times, us.
Here’s a quick list of 10 tips and psychological starting point suggestions about how to wake up rapidly and stop perpetuating the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse as it relates to romance and family.
Don’t worry — Stockholm Syndrome tends to happen to even the best and the brightest amongst us. If you fell for a Love Fraud con artist or Abuser after making a break from your toxic parents, these tips are likely to feel even more socially supportive as well as appropriate.
The following list of “go to ground” Narcissistic Abuse recovery tips offers intellectually pragmatic reminders to revisit when and if you start to feel lonely, like a genetic misfit, or powerless.
Please come back to read this short post if and when you start feeling a bizarre mix of being frozen in time, trapped and socially persecuted with no way to personally or professionally legally or socially to escape tyrants or monsters. So, we encourage all our readers to bookmark it and actively
We encourage all our readers to bookmark it and actively revisit if they are the product of or family scapegoat for Cluster B elders such as toxic parents.
Without further ado, welcome. Hold on, pain ends… we mean it.
1. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Many of our mods and staff writers were the product of similar Cluster B parents. If we’re still here posting or you are able to follow one of our related fan pages, there is still HOPE.
2. If you are struggling to define your own sense of self, separate from the social and emotional identity of being a part of a toxic family unit that is prone to the most extreme levels of hospitality abuses, Forensic Psychology study will help save the day.
3. Check out all the articles on flyingmonkeysdenied.com about ASPD and what to expect from toxic parents or Cluster B seniors if your parent was physically violent during your childhood or if they chose to overlook and enable physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological abuse. If abuse was purely emotional, psychological, and financial (or religious), reading up on entitlement thinkers and Malignant Narcissists can help you.
4. Why read up on what’s to come during the senior years if you decide to socially support and become a long-term care provider for a Cluster B parent — especially one who is mean spirited or prone to gaslighting and credible threats of physical, material, or financial violence? Because they tend to get meaner and more egocentric /punitive as they lose physical and social power, abusing caregivers the most in dying days.
5. We recommend checking out the youtube videos from Richard Grannon (the Spartan Life Coach guy) that we have bookmarked on our youtube channel — button on top right of flyingmonkeysdenied.com and checking out all the videos from him, in the HELP FOR MEN section, from Ollie Matthews, and from the young lady at Self Care Haven.
6. We also highly recommend for additional newsfeed reminders and on-topic support to follow our sister page facebook.com/adultchildrenoftoxicparents. While most humans will not have a clue what you are likely to have been through, those of us who know really really really really really do understand a great deal (more than likely) of the ritualistic abuse toxic parents of that particular variety tend to put the most loving, kind, and emotionally sensitive and bright of their preferred scapegoat offspring through.
7. If you are reading here, we are pleased to let you know recovery IS possible. But it takes a lifetime of reading daily to fill your subconscious mind with non-Cluster B or trauma inspired thinking. Welcome to the process.
8. Thanks for writing. We mean it. Validating to your own subconscious that you are or were an abuse victim who more than likely was targeted for being emotionally neurotypical and kind is much easier when you take the time to not only write in your abuse journal but to share with other humans. And yes — our virtual relationships are oftentimes FAR more socially supportive than any conversations we have with IRL friends, co-workers, therapists, or family members… so stop believing people who gaslight and say social media contacts or online support networks are not VALID. They LIE.
9. It is weird but the hardest part of figuring all of it out is really realizing that there’s a name for the way that toxic parents act and that their toxic thinking reflects specific habits of ALL folks with their socially aggressive and fiercely attention-demanding ASPD or comorbid Anti-Social — Psychopath / Narcissist personality type. Just remember to breathe and to feel the feels — letting it be perfectly okay that it is a part of what your life experience has been without feeling ashamed or compelled to hide or change it is honestly the most healing thing you can do for your own bio-psychology.
10. You could be anyone — they would have been just as brutal. Why? Because #MommyDearest figures and their ENABLING HENCHMEN are (more often that not) well-established, socially supported, and/or well-liked public figures who tend to pervasively situationally abuse.