We learn from what we do right and we learn from our mistakes, we learn from ourselves, others and the Cosmos. An enlightened soul once told me that we are the teacher and the student and this happens simultaneously all the time.
The 5 reasons that make every person doubt themselves and fear the world
We teach and we learn, therefore we have to be equally compassionate, patient and gentle with both ourselves and others as we go through this learning/teaching curve. Let’s have a look at the main 5 reasons which makes all of us go through phases of hesitation, fear, and self-doubt about the world and ourselves:
1. We spend too much time about what others think
Every human being is most of the time vulnerable when is being hit with the criticism of another. I have tried to calm many people who were convinced that another person’s words have more power or are more legitimate than their own. “You will never learn how to cast this ”, “this is too advanced for you”, “You do the same thing over and over again, do you ever listen?” It is true that we are susceptible to criticism from a very young age starting with our parents and close relatives which they compare us with others.
Guess what! It is the time to stop this old die hard habit of believing that what others think is more legit than your own thoughts and feelings. If you feel powerful, you are! If you feel pretty, you are! Do not expect validation from others. Instead grow in your own self, your own pace, your own time and be who you want to be and makes you happy. Quit the habit of adjusting your personality, your magic, your career according to what others think is best for you. Instead show the necessary respect to listen to their words, as every piece of advice may help, but at the very end make it clear in your own mind that you are the ruler of your life. You make the decisions and the actions and yours are the consequences.
2.We believe that ourselves and/or others are not good enough
The result and simultaneously the other side of the coin of the first reason! A very wise person once told me: “Self perfection is self defeat”! And you know what? After many many years I can only admit that she was right. I have struggled so hard to be my best all the time, ensuring that I upset no one, that everybody wants to be around me and that I am good enough for others to deserve me.
Well, that was one immature string of thoughts. Instead, what I learnt is that no one is perfect, we are all growing and evolving, on our own time with our own pace. And this should be respected. If you find someone who you feel you do not match or you do not match anymore, don’t criticise them and let them go. There is a place for everyone in this Universe. Again, learn to love others for who they are and love yourself for who you are. You have the power to change anything that you don’t like.
3.Seeing the human nature in our guides and mentors makes us doubt their worth
That is a tricky one- how can my mentor make mistakes? Well your mentor is still human and for this reason of doubt there is a remedy. If you go back to what I said in the beginning and remind yourselves that ‘We are all teachers and students at the same time’, you will see that this reason under a completely different prism. Again, remember everyone is growing, even the most evolved soul!
4.Disconnecting from the Source of All things
Very typical side effect when we start feeling fear and doubt about Ourselves and the World. We lose our trust in the Source of all things, either you call it Nature, Goddess, God, Universe, Spirit etc. We believe that we are not being heard, we get angry because things don’t go our way, etc etc I am pretty sure you all know this sad story and the problem is that if we do not fix it, it will only escalate. Again, the challenge is to find the faith within yourself to ask for help and understanding.
No higher power will be deaf to your prayers or will have any other higher goal than your true happiness. We are all humans evolving (again hear it in repeat) yet we live in our own microcosm and we may be somewhat blind to the bigger picture of things focusing on the details. Learn and accept that everything that happens, good or the bad, happens to help you become stronger, helps you to be you Real and Higher Self and works for your happiness. Once this lesson is learnt, forgiveness, acceptance and compassion will flow freely in your life and will literally transform it.
5. Focus too much of our energy on other aspects of our lives
Fact no.1 is that 99% of people live busy lives. Fact no.2 is that we have many aspects in our lives such as family, career, love that we nourish na care about. Fact no.3 is that too much focusing on one aspect can and will upset the balance. So what needs to be done? Well we need to understand the concept of balance and understand that our energy is limitless yet our physical selves are not. If we run a marathon, we will be exhausted. Therefore, we need to prepare and also plan on what we want to do and how we can do it.
An advice from a friendly spirit was to create a grid. Yes, a grid! Take a piece of paper and write down the different aspects of your lives: Family, friends, myself, career, love, spirituality, studies, hobbies etc. Then put a score in the form of a percentage on how much you feel you are directing your energy towards? Results reveal the truth. If your total percentage is above 100% that means you bite more than you can chew and you will exhaust yourself. If you find aspects of your life that get low scores, you may want to revisit and see if they need more of your time invested into them i.e. low score on friendship may mean you neglect your friends and that can lead to a lonely life (which you may feel perfectly about it for the time).
A really high score also shows where you invest more of your energy and potentially overdoing it i.e. if you are like me I always somehow put a 70-80% on work and that shows that I am potentially a workaholic (and I deserve the consequences). Then the lesson finishes by distributing the scores according to how you feel would be best in order to live a more fruitful and creative life. Maybe it is time for a vacation or time to ignite that flame of passion. In essence, the lesson is to invest your energy wisely, because you will reap what you sow.