Is it cheating?
This seems to be the age-old question that no one can seem to find a definitive answer to. It’s like the whole spectrum of human existence is deeply divided on this matter. But that won’t stop this article from trying to find the answer.
Do you ever find yourself flirting with someone attractive whenever your partner isn’t there to witness it?
Do you find yourself having a playful discussion with an attractive human being who just so happens to not be the one you’re in a relationship with?
This is a very controversial gray area that tends to get overblown by a lot of people. And that usually stems from a general misunderstanding of what it means to flirt with another person.
So it’s important to first establish what it means to flirt with another person.
To put things simply, flirting is the act of attracting another person to you with the use of your charisma and social skills. And so in that sense, if you’re interacting with someone who is growing more and more attracted to you – you are flirting with that person whether you know it or not.
That’s a very important point to stress. Just because you flirt with someone doesn’t mean that your intentions are founded on wanting to have intimate and romantic relations with that person. It just so happens you are getting close to another person by being your natural self – any malice that might attach itself to the situation is purely coincidental.
Take for example when you go and dress up really well for a date night with your partner. You put on your best outfit and you style your hair just right to give you that glowing look that made your partner fall in love with you in the first place. But then again, you know this is all unnecessary. Your partner has already seen you at your best and at your worst. Your partner has loved you regardless of what you were wearing. So what was the real reason you decided to dress up? You wanted to do it for yourself.
You wanted to look good because it makes you feel good. And that’s exactly the kind of feeling that you chase when you innocently flirt with other people. Whenever others make you realize just how attractive you are, you gain a better sense of appreciation for yourself without necessarily being unfaithful or disloyal in the relationship.
So if you now agree that flirting isn’t necessarily as harmful as a lot of people are led to believe, you still have to understand that it’s not going to work for all relationships. There will just be some people in relationships who will be too insecure about their place in the romance to ever be okay with their partners flirting with anyone else. If this is the case for you, then you should probably respect your partner’s wishes and consider it a compromise. Find your thrills of self-exaltation somewhere else.
So what is it about flirting that just makes it feel so damn great?
For one, it always does a person well to know that they have a certain attractiveness about them that appeals to other people. Second, it makes people feel better about their conversational skills to know that their words have an attractive power about them. And third, it just makes a person feel more confident overall that they have the power to attract other people.
It’s also important to note that flirting can take its shape in various forms. On the first level, there is the innocent flirting. You are merely talking to another person and you happen to find a spark between the both of you and you keep it going. You don’t attach any malice ill intentions to it. You’re just having fun. On the second level, there is the physical flirting. It’s essentially the same as innocent flirting, but you just take it a notch higher by incorporating physical gestures and connections into the mix.
The third level is sensual flirting. This is where malice starts to fall into the equation. And this is also where most couples should draw the line when it comes to flirting. This is the kind of flirtation that comes with ill intentions; with actual intentions to establish sexual relations with another person.
And so is flirting wrong when you’re in a relationship? There is still no definitive answer. It’s still a very gray area that you really need to navigate with your partner. Flirting has its benefits to the self, but it can also have its detriments to the relationship as a whole. You just have to be able to balance everything out well and find a system of flirting that works for both you and your partner. In the end, only the two of you can really decide if flirting is wrong or not.