How do you recognize the signs of being abused by a narcissist when you are so deeply lost, you can’t even recognize yourself?
These 38 signs will point you in the right direction. It’s normal to have a few bumps in a ny relationship, but if you can say “yes” to more than a couple of these, then it’s time to go.
1. You no longer recognize yourself.
2. Your emotions are all over the place. You feel angry, sad, anxious, ashamed, guilty, bad and afraid.
3. You lack joy and can’t get excited about anything.
4. You feel numb, emotionless as if your soul has been ripped out (because it has).
5. You can’t concentrate and get distracted easily.
6. You have trouble remembering things. If someone asks you how your weekend was you can’t answer because you genuinely don’t know.
7. You feel crazy. You just know there is something wrong with you.
8. The smallest infractions set you off. You are constantly on edge.
9. Your mood depends on the state of your relationship.
10. You feel responsible for ruining your relationship, but you’re not exactly sure what you did to ruin it.
11. You no longer trust anyone.
12. You feel misunderstood and this causes you to stop confiding in your partner and others.
13. You can’t seem to make your partner happy no matter what you do. You try to be perfect, and even when you think you are pleasing your partner, they find something wrong with you.
14. You feel as if you have no voice. You are afraid to express any negative emotions whether they are about your partner or your bad day at work. No matter what you say your partner will take it personally and make it about them.
15. You find yourself apologizing, a lot.
16. You try to carefully control your words, actions, tone of voice and any details you share with your partner out of fear of upsetting them.
17. At times you feel so angry, you explode with rage and hostility.
18. All of a sudden you have developed a problem with trust, jealousy and anger. You overreact at the smallest things and your partner points this out to you often.
19. You find yourself telling lies to avoid angering your partner.
20. You feel afraid of your partner and fear what he might do next.
21. You feel hopeless.
22. You’ve started writing down details about your fights with your partner so you can remember what actually happened and not what your partner says happened at a later date.
23. You started drinking, using drugs, overeating, or not eating at all to cope with the abuse.
24. You are irritable and snappy.
25. You cry a lot. This could be in front of him when he hurts you or you could do it privately while locked in a bathroom, closet or after your partner falls asleep.
26. You feel inhibited around him, especially sexually. You are ashamed of your body that you once thought highly of because of all the cruel things he has said about it.
27. You do what he wants out of fear that he will punish you with the silent treatment, cheating or withholding love and affection.
28. You feel worthless.
29. You are anxious and overwhelmed by your life.
30. You are indecisive, unable to make even the smallest decisions.
31. You dread going home after work.
32. You stop caring for yourself. You shower less, eat less, sleep more, and only take care of things that are absolutely necessary.
33. You are playing detective. You google him, stalk his Facebook page and any other form of social media he has.
34. You make excuses for your partner’s bad behavior. You tell yourself he didn’t mean the cruel things he said. If you didn’t make him so angry he wouldn’t say that.
35. You cling to the false hope that if things could just go back to the way they were in the beginning, you would get your happily ever after.
36. You feel isolated and no longer see or talk to your friends.
37. You scour the internet for any information you can find to help you understand what is happening to you. You learn about narcissistic abuse and confront your partner with your new found knowledge, only to have it turned around on you. You now believe you are the narcissist who abuses their partner.
38. You believe if you change, your narcissistic partner will change and you will have a happy relationship.
Remember: YOU CAN NOT CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE. You can try, but you will destroy yourself in the process.
List courtesy of narcNation