The old, outdated saying that ‘time heals all wounds’ is not always true. As Dr. Phil explains, “Time doesn’t change us. It’s what we do with that time that changes us.” Moving on can happen as time passes, but dealing with the hurt is something that needs to be consciously done. The good news is, we are all more than capable of taking back control of our lives each and every time life knocks us down. It just takes making a decision to do it, and then following through with certain healthy behaviors.
Here Are 17 Ways To Take Your Life Back When You Feel Broken On The Inside
1. Get In Shape
Any professional psychologist will tell you that exercise is key to living a balanced, healthy life, and when it comes to regaining our emotional balance, doing something physical to create the feel-good hormones is always a good idea. Exercise also gives us a sense of personal strength and self-confidence. It helps one feel that “I can do it,” regardless of how challenging the task may seem. As Jillian Michaels explains, “Fitness isn’t about a crunch or a push up. It’s about taking your power back.”
2. Travel Somewhere Outside Of Town
Free yourself from your regular surrounding and daily routine by taking a short trip or mini vacation out of town. Sometimes a change in your emotional state just takes a change in scenery. Consider going somewhere beautiful and where you feel at peace; it could be a lake, or a mountain, or a place where you can see the beautiful open blue sky. The key is find a place to give yourself a little space to heal and to enjoy the serenity and tranquility that life has to offer.
3. Rewrite Your Inner Story Of The Past
The past is simply a story that we repeat to ourselves, and the key to inner liberation is being able to understand the past in a new light. Consider spending a few hours talking with a counselor who can help you understand your feelings from your past experiences, and who can provide a new way to look at them; one that nourishes you with the love you need and that promotes your inner healing.
4. Invite New People Into Your Life
The positive effect we are able to have on one another as humans is immeasurable. Sometimes the best way to heal from the toxicity of past relationships is to allow the beauty of new ones to flourish. We tend to create our mindsets and lifestyles similar to those we spend the most time with, so choose to spend time with wonderful and positive people who accept you and help you feel great about who you are.
5. Be Open And Share Your Story
Holding everything in is a sure way to feel stressed out and continue staying in pain. Find someone safe, trustworthy and who is a compassionate listener to share your feelings with, and be completely open and honest about yourself. Sometimes just talking to someone is all the therapy we need.
6. Take Your Own Self-Care Seriously
If we have a cold, we make sure to take enough time to rest, drink water, eat warm soup, and eat healthy, even if it slows down our lifestyle or we need to take a few days off from work. When we’re struggling emotionally, the same level of self-care and self-love is needed in order to regain our inner smile. Make your self-care your biggest priority, and the result will be the healing, relief and peace you’re looking for.
7. Buy Some New Clothes
While at first it may seem shallow, how we view ourselves and our appearance does indeed affect our levels of self-esteem. When we walk around wearing new clothes, we tend to feel a little more attractive and generally feel good about ourselves. They don’t have to be expensive, just welcome a little change in your life that reflects the new and beautiful you.
8. Leave What Adds To Your Unhappiness
When we’re feeling down and broken, it’s likely that certain pieces in our lives contributed to the puzzle of feeling this way. It could be a stressful and unenjoyable job, a toxic relationship or a commitment that is making you miserable. The important thing is to identify what is hurting you emotionally, and take the necessary steps to let it go and to replace it with something positive that helps you feel happy in your life. You deserve to be happy and you are worth it.
9. Give Yourself Permission To Let Go
Often holding on too tightly, does more damage, than letting go. Peace and happiness come with letting go, and deep within the core of our being, we truly are okay in a state of letting go of everything. Give yourself permission to let go of the pain, to let go of the past, to let go of the hurt. You are allowed to move on and to be happy with your life, and it just takes letting go of whatever is holding you down.
10. Connect With People Who Have Been Through Similar Experience
It’s amazing the things we can learn from those who have survived and healed through experiences similar to our own. Find a friend, or even search through Google for people sharing similar experiences as your own and learn from what helped them deal with it and get their lives back on track. Chances are what worked for them can work for you too. You are never alone.
11. Unplug A Whole Week
If you can make it happen, take a week just to yourself. Unplug from the net, turn off your phone, relax in bed watching movies or take a road trip somewhere relaxing and beautiful. Sometimes getting free from the daily routine and seeing the world helps us to remember how trivial many of our worries are, and helps us see how we are capable of happily existing completely outside of them.
12. De-Clutter Your Life
Studies show that clutter and messy rooms cause stress and anxiety, so do yourself an emotional favor and clean your living space, and your car. It’s mentally refreshing to let go of unneeded items and to live in a clean space with fresh air. You’ll find your mind will feel less bothered as well when the physical clutter disappears.
13. Strengthen Your Relationships With The People Who Love You
Those who love you are the ones who are always there for you in times of need. When it feels like everything’s falling apart, take a minute to see who is still standing by your side. These are the ones who truly care for you and can provide much needed emotional support to help you get back to where you want to be.
14. Decide To Eat Healthy For A Month
Eating healthy food is crucial to feeling good, and it’s vitally important to practice a healthy diet while going through an emotional struggle. Getting the vitamins, minerals and nutrients your body needs to optimally function is key to having a healthy emotional state, as who can really feel emotionally good when their bodies are physically suffering from a poor diet? Make a healthy plan that works for you and commit to following it for 30 days; you’ll be grateful you did after your energy level increases and you start feeling good again.
15. Take A New And Interesting Class
Just about every book or guide on recovering a happy emotional state suggests taking a new course or a class on a topic of your interest. These classes can help us remember how interesting life is and to become passionate again about things that truly inspire us. Maybe there’s a yoga class in your area that looks interesting, or an art class that meets once per week; the key is find something healthy that adds value to your life and that you’re motivated to learn.
16. Make A Budget
It’s difficult to feel in control of our lives when our finances or spending habits are out of control. Make a budget that you feel comfortable with and that has you living within your means, and you thereby reduce any stress or uncomfortable feelings that come from overspending or debt.
17. Practice Self-Compassion
One of the best if not the absolute best way to feel better is to consciously practice feeling love and compassion for your own self. Sit down in a quiet space, and begin by telling yourself “I am lovable, I am good enough.” Repeat this phrase to yourself until you begin to believe it. Then begin to focus on the feeling of love in your heart. Focusing through thought is a good way to start; say to yourself, “love, love, love.” Keep focusing on your feeling of love, and once you can comfortably feel a good amount of love, begin to bring that love to the inner emotional hurts you have. “I love the part of me that is hurting, I love my hurt self.”
You’ll notice immediate feelings of relief and healing take place once you allow yourself to open and to feel the love that is coming to nurture your hurts. By consciously choosing and re-directing your emotional state to one of self-compassion, you begin to re-program your mind and emotional state to one that it going to make you feel truly happy.
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