Simply put, it’s hard to know if and your beau are right for each other. Yes, there are the obvious signs, like being physically attracted to each other and, well, being in a relationship. But how can you know for sure? Fortunately, there’s science. Here, we highlight some research-backed factors that strongly indicate whether or not you and your partner are meant for each other.
The positivity factor. Are you and your significant other both positive in terms of perspective? Though it’s not really much of a shocker, studies have shown that a glass-half-full outlook can go a long way in keeping a relationship afloat. In fact, resarchers from the University of Chicago found that when just one partner has a high level of positivity, there’s less turbulence in the relationship, Women’s Health reports.
The positivity factor. “Positive emotions are fundamental to any relationship because they counteract the negative emotions that shut us down,” Jane Greer, Ph.D., a New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship, explained to Women’s Health. “This translates into feeling more secure with your partner and more trusting.”
Texting. Think texting your partner non-stop is better than just sending them three to five messages a day? Think again. As it turns out, it’s better to tread lightly when communicating with your S.O. via texts, according to researchers from Brigham Young University.
Texting. After surveying 276 men and women, around age 22, researchers from Bigham Young discovered that heavy messaging via telecommunication was to blame for both genders feeling dissatisfied with their relationships. Seriously, who would have thought?
Texting. “Texting is precarious for a lot of people in relationships because it’s hard to flesh out our genuine expressions,” Greer explained to Women’s Health. “When one person is less interactive, the expectation is not matched by the reality for the other, and this can lead to disappointment and a feeling of disconnection.”
Social media. C’mon, you really didn’t think there’d be no mention of social media on this list, did you? It’s 2018 for heck’s sake! Perhaps unsurprisingly, constantly checking your feeds may be one of the most toxic things you can do for your love life, Women’s Health reports.
Social media. Published in the Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Network, one particular study found that individuals who use Facebook more than once a day are more likely to document conflicts in their relationship. What’s more, these conflicts can inevitably lead to negative outcomes like cheating or breaking up— and in some cases, getting divorced. Ouch.
Social media. “Romantic relationships can be challenging enough to navigate without these added technological complications,” Joseph Cilona, Psy.D., Manhattan-based licensed clinical psychologist, explained to Women’s Health. “Finding ways to simplify or minimize potential pitfalls, like limiting what each other shares about your relationship on social media, is a great rule of thumb to follow.”
Cuddling. Most — if not all — men and women love the feeling of physical intimacy. It’s only natural, after all. But as it turns out, physical intimacy can also offer some unique insight into your levels of happiness in your relationship. Yes, seriously.
Cuddling. Published in The American Journal of Family Therapy, a study polled 100 men and 195 women to analyze their preferences and beliefs towards romantic physical affection. Think: massaging, cuddling, holding hands, etc. In the end, researchers found overwhelmingly that the amount they experienced in their union was significantly correlated to their levels of satisfaction in the relationship.
Cuddling. “Cuddling and tenderness help maintain the physical connection and intimacy shared between couples—not just when you’re being sexual,” Greer explained to Women’s Health. “As a result, it can be easier to get turned on because there’s always an element of sexual energy being shared through physical touches, therefore leading to a happier relationship overall.”
Fighting. Let’s face it: fighting with your significant other sucks. But as it turns out, arguing with your beau every now and then might be glue that keeps your relationship together. All together now: say what?!
Fighting. Women’s Health reports: “Researchers from Florida State University found that expressing anger when disagreements arise may actually be necessary in resolving problems in the relationship. In fact, that whole saying “forgive and forget” could surprisingly lead to buried feelings of resentment that fester and almost always come up later in the courtship.”
Fighting. Greer further expanded on the matter, noting: “If you learn to argue in a healthy way early on, then you’re more comfortable expressing your emotions to your partner and working through your different points of view. This creates a good working framework for handling arguments in a positive way instead of them resurfacing constantly, causing more strain in the relationship.”