Most bullies and abusers are cowards and will have a very particular set of traits that will help you identify them. Some people argue that some bullies and abusers were victims once and while that may be true, it is not acceptable to continue the vicious chain and project their anger onto others.
How do you know that a person is a possible abuser? Here are 15 ways to know:
#15 Always defensive
We are human and it is only natural for us to make mistakes from time to time. Most of us will be able to accept when it is our fault at least some of the time. Those who are abusers are usually the biggest cowards and will not have the strength to be able to accept their mistakes and learn from them. Instead, they will tend to reflect the blame on to everyone else around them.
#14 Never respects the people you love
An abuser will always try to shame you and where you come from. They will tend to find some fault or the other with your family members and will make sure to put you in an extremely uncomfortable position. They will also tend to lash out at your loved ones and will make sure to keep your relationships under pressure.
#13 Tries to turn you on your friends
These types of people can never be happy seeing that you are happy and will do what it takes in order to try and isolate you from all that you know and love. The abuser will attempt to sabotage your friendships and will spread rumors which will lead to nothing but miscommunications and complications with your friends.
#12 Has no concern for any boundaries
No matter how many fights you have, how much they apologize and promise, and how many boundaries you set, the boundaries will never be respected or kept. A person who loves and respects you will also maintain your boundaries but with an abuser, you will find that this line is being crossed more and more.
#11 It is always their way
Such kinds of people are very narrow-minded and will believe that what they think and know is the right way and nothing else is important. Other people’s opinions and thoughts have absolutely no value according to them and they will always shut off anything else that other people have to say. It’s their way or the highway!
#10 Instant rage
It is natural for all of us to get angry from time to time but such people tend to fly into an instant rage whenever something upsets them no matter how big or small. Abusers enjoy conflicts and will say anything to instigate a person. They often look for someone or something to direct their intense anger towards.
#9 Very controlling and possessive
Abusers will tend to be extremely controlling and possessive and it would shatter them to see you be okay without them. They will make you feel as though they need you all the time and that without them you should not do anything. They will tend to be very possessive of you and will hate for you to be out of their line of vision.
#8 Past history of violence
Abusers cannot fool people easily and their traits can be quite apparent. Before you decide to get further acquainted with the potential abuser, you should try and see what the person’s family and friends have to say. It is possible for people to change over time but it is equally possible for them to hold on to their abusive nature.
#7 Manipulative behavior
These people will always try to manipulate you into thinking that if you leave them, they would be extremely upset but they will never give you any space. They will attempt to butt in and control as many aspects of your life as you allow them and this will only make you a lot more trapped and claustrophobic.
#6 Easily jealous
Abusers are actually the most insecure people around and this makes them jealous very easily and very fast. People who are comfortable in their own skin will not get intimated by others around them, unlike abusers who will find any sort of achievement or success of yours intimidating.
#5 Always fast to commit
Rushing headstrong into big decisions without thinking through the problems and consequences is what abusers tend to do. They are extremely needy and desperate for someone to take their baggage and be their punching bag. They will put a lot of pressure to bind the relationship as this will allow them to have more control over you.
#4 Overly-sensitive
On the rare moments where the abuser is open to listening and having a conversation will not really work out considering that most abusers are totally over sensitive and will over-react to anything and everything that you have to say against them. They are pretty uptight and they will not take well to any sort of criticism.
#3 Can never tell the truth
With such people, the hardest thing to do will be to know whether they are speaking the truth or not. More often than not, they will tend to manipulate stories and situations to work in their favor no matter how many lies they have to tell to cover their tracks. They will lie about the dumbest things and you will be able to see right through the lies and deception.
#2 Being super needy
They will always consider themselves to be the victim and will attempt to make everyone feel sorry for them. No matter what they do they will always beg, be clingy, and will always portray a ‘poor-me’ attitude. Abusers will act super needy and desperate for all the attention that they can get.
#1 Constantly boasting
Such people have a serious problem with themselves and feel the need to constantly boast and brag about the things that they have done. Most abusers have a narcissistic streak and will go on and on about every little thing that they have done or achieved. They do all these things in the hope of impressing everyone.