If there’s one thing that narcissists are legendary at, it’s keeping their victims around. Even when their victims know the way they’re being treated isn’t right, narcissists always have a way to keep people hooked. The way they do it is through lies, and there are plenty of lies that they will tell. If you’ve heard any of these phrases come from your partner’s mouth, chances are that you’re dating a narcissist – and that means you should probably dump them.
Have you ever had to deal with abuse from a narcissist? Tell us what lies you heard them say in the comments below!
“I didn’t do that. You’re crazy.” If narcissists are caught doing something terrible, they will never cop to it. They’ll never admit to what they do, because if they admit it, they know you’ll realize you’re right and leave. This is called gaslighting, and it’s meant to make you feel crazy. And, when you’re not sure of yourself, you’ll stick around.
“You’re just like all the other horrible people I’ve been with!” This is a guilt trip that narcs use when they’re trying to make you feel like you’re wrong for wanting to leave them. The idea is that you’ll want to prove them wrong by staying or doing “better” than they did.
“I can’t imagine my life without you.” This one is tricky, because it often can be said from a healthy person. But narcissists aren’t healthy. When they say it, it doesn’t mean they love you. It means you’re a tool for them to use and dispose of, and that it’d take too long for them to find someone else.
“Everyone warned me about you, but I didn’t believe them.” When a narcissist is trying to hook you in, they want you to think others are plotting against you. They want to appear like the only trustworthy person in your life, and they want you to feel insecure in yourself. This sentence does all of that… and makes you withdraw from people who care for you, leaving you alone with the narcissist.
“I don’t get why you’re the only one who doesn’t understand me!” This is another form of gas lighting that narcissists use when they’re trying to control you and make you do what they want you to do. If you stand up for yourself, they’ll make it sound like you’re “crazy” for doing so.
“You’re so sensitive! Stop being so sensitive!” Narcissists do not like the idea of people reacting badly to what they say, even when they know they’re pushing your buttons. By telling you this, they’re gas lighting you and trying to control your reaction. You’re not sensitive – you’re reacting like a normal person. And, because you start doubting yourself, you’ll stay.
*Lies for no reason.* People with narcissism often will just lie for no real reason. The fact is that they’re pathological liars, and don’t know how to tell the truth anymore. It just isn’t in their nature to be honest. If you’re fed enough lies, you’ll eventually feel unable to go in life alone.
“I’m amazing!” The most common lie you’ll hear a narcissist talk about deals with what an amazing guy he is. He’ll tell you about how he knows celebrities, how he’s so powerful, and how caring he is. Self-aggrandizement is the narc’s main game, and it makes their victims doubt whether or not they are actually crazy for wanting to leave such a “great guy.”
“No, I’m better than them.” One of the ways narcissists trap others is to make their victims think that they are the “better” option – even when being alone is the best bet you can have. As a result, they’ll trash talk anyone who comes near you until you feel like they’re the only ones worth your time.
“No, honey, I promise, that’s the last time!” When narcissists really realize they’ve messed up, they’ll dole out promises of “never again” until the cows come home. The fact is, though, that all those promises are lies. They’ll do it again, and again, and again. After all, in their minds, you’ve signaled that it’s okay for them to do it.
“She was so abusive, my ex! A horrible person!” A narcissist often will paint himself as a victim of others in order to gain your sympathy. Then, he’ll use that “horrible experience” he had in the past to make you feel like you need to be easy on him. And, this turns into an excuse for his bad behavior, which leaves you feeling like you have to tolerate him in order to be a decent person.
“Don’t worry about this, it’s fine!” Narcissists love to be the exceptions to people’s rules. When they say this lie, it often means that they will break rules and expect you to take the fall for it if things don’t pan out. And, somehow, they will make you feel like it’s your role – and make you stick around for it.
“Not my fault. That’s on YOU.” To a narcissist, it’s not his fault that his fist ended in your face. To him, it’s YOUR fault, even though you cannot control his actions. This is a classic narcissist lie that often means that you’re about to get into very dangerous territory. Narcissists can’t handle the idea that they’re at fault. Ever. And, they’ll work on getting you to think it’s your fault so that you stick around more.
“I’m doing this because I care for you.” This is not only a narcissist lie, but an abuser lie as well. Narcissists lie to people about their feelings, because people want to be around those who supposedly care about them. When a narc says this, it’s about seducing you and then exploiting you.
“If you leave, I’ll die.” This is the narcissist’s ultimate emotional blackmail move. They will make you stick by even when you don’t want to, simply because they know that you don’t want that kind of guilt on your hands. Hint: He’ll survive, and if he doesn’t, it’s still not your fault.