It’s a horrible feeling not knowing if the person you love is betraying you (or about to betray you) behind your back.
It wears down even the most confident, secure person if you suspect, but aren’t sure, that your partner is either thinking about going astray or has already done it. If you’ve talked about your concerns with your partner, and he or she has been dismissive and unconvincing, they might be attempting to gaslight you. You might not be a jealous person whatsoever, but your instincts are telling you that something’s just not right. Here are a few signs that can help you identify the red flags.
What do you think of these signs? Let us know in the comments!
Attentive. If your partner is way more attentive than usual, it could be an indicator that he (or she) is feeling guilty about something he either has done or is thinking about doing. As affairs go on, the guilt tends to subside as the cheating becomes a regular part of his routine.
Gifts. Gifts fall under the guilt category. If your partner is showing you with gifts for no reason at all, it might be because he’s done something wrong.
You have a gut feeling. If your instincts are telling you that your mate is betraying you, you should not ignore those feelings. You know your partner’s habits and behavior. If something seems off, and he’s changed, that’s not something to just ignore.
Picking fights. Picking fights can be a good excuse for someone to storm out of the house and go astray. It can also be a way for your partner to convince himself that your relationship is in bad shape, and that cheating is somehow justified because of the constant fighting.
Breaking up. When you argue, your partner brings up breaking up or separating. If he raises the topic of what’s going to happen when you’re no longer together, it means it’s on his mind for a reason.
Moody. If your partner becomes depressed, somber or sad for no reason whatsoever, that’s a red flag. Something is wrong, and he’s not sharing it with you.
You’re not talking. Trouble might be brewing if he seems cold and distant when you’re together. If he’s not talking to you as much or being completely inattentive, red flag.
His phone. Does your partner start suddenly feeling the need to bring his iPhone with him everywhere he goes? Like, even when he goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night? If he’s hiding his phone from you at all costs, that’s a huge red flag. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to constantly read your partner’s text messages; that’s not okay either. But he should not be afraid to leave his phone in your presence.
Closing doors. Is he suddenly starting to close the door behind him whenever he enters a different room in the house? This could be a sign that he is subconsciously covering his tracks, being secretive and trying to hide himself from you.
Interrupted conversations. Does he say “I’ll have to call you back” whenever you approach him mid-conversation with someone? If all of his conversations suddenly become top secret, red flag.
Sex. This can go both ways. If he’s avoiding having sex with you, that’s not a good sign. If he all of a sudden becomes a sex maniac, that might be an indicator of trouble as well. Major, inexplicably changes in your sex life typically mean that something is up.
He acts ashamed. When you do something nice for him, does he act guilty? He might be ashamed of himself, with good reason.
Random new hobbies. Is he suddenly training for a marathon or going rock climbing? Things that take up several hours of a time and do not include you? Something might be up.
New catch phrases. Is he all of a sudden using different catch phrases and expressions? Is he all of a sudden into different music, or dressing differently? Things that are typically indicative of hanging around with someone new can mean that he’s doing exactly that, whether it’s innocent or not. However, if it were innocent, you would probably know about it.
Talk to him. If you’re worried your partner is thinking about unfaithful or has already done it, the best thing to do is to have an honest conversation. If he denies it and things still don’t feel right between you, you need to consider whether you’re with a person who is dishonest. Most affairs are exposed eventually. Don’t drive yourself crazy, but don’t ignore your instincts either. The best thing to do is communicate.