6 Signs You’re Arguing With A Sociopath, Narcissist, Or Psychopath

by Peace

According to Dr. Martha Stout, psychopaths make up 4% of the general population. Contrary to popular belief, most of these people aren’t serial killers or over-the-top womanizers.

They’re manipulative people who intentionally cause harm to others without any sense of remorse or responsibility.

Psychopaths are social chameleons who can fit perfectly into any situation. They are experts at morphing their identities to get what they want and mirroring others for money, sex, and — most commonly — attention. Because of their ability to idealize others, psychopaths are often perceived as charming, innocent, and fun to unsuspecting onlookers and casual acquaintances.

But there is another side to them.

When they’re feeling threatened or bored, a psychopath’s true colors start to come out. They draw you into arguments that are unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. The argument usually stems from something hurtful or inappropriate they’ve done, but you’ll quickly find that you’re the one defending yourself.

It’s sort of like good cop, bad cop, demented cop, stalker cop, scary cop, baby cop.

Here are 6 warning signs that the person you’re arguing with is a psychopath and it’s time to disengage.

1. They lie and make excuses.

Everyone messes up every now and then, but psychopaths recite excuses more often than they follow through with promises. Their actions never match up with their words and their lies disappoint you so frequently that you actually feel relieved when they do something halfway decent. They’ve conditioned you to become grateful for mediocre treatment.

2. Their tone is condescending and patronizing.

Psychopaths often try to make you unhinged in an attempt to gain the upper hand. Throughout the entire argument, you’ll notice that they keep a calm and cool demeanor. It’s almost as if they’re mocking you — gauging your reactions to see how much further they can push. When you finally react emotionally, that’s when they’ll raise their eyebrows, smirk, tell you to calm down, or feign disappointment.

3. They employ mind-blowing hypocrisy.

In heated arguments, psychopaths have no shame and will often begin labeling you with their own horrible qualities. It goes beyond projection, because most people project unknowingly. Psychopaths know they are smearing you with their own flaws, because they are seeking a reaction. The point is to lure you in so that you react and seem “crazy” to onlookers.

4. They seem to have multiple personalities.

When arguing with a psychopath, you’re likely to notice a variety of their personas. It’s sort of like good cop, bad cop, demented cop, stalker cop, scary cop, baby cop. Once you begin pulling away from their manipulation and lies, they’ll start apologizing and flatter you. If that doesn’t work, they’ll suddenly start insulting the qualities they just flattered two minutes ago. As they struggle to regain control, you’ll be left wondering who you’re even talking to.

5. They play the eternal victim.

Somehow, their bad behavior will always lead back to a conversation about their abusive past or a crazy ex or an evil boss. You’ll end up feeling bad for them, even when they’ve done something horribly wrong. And once they’ve successfully diverted your attention, everything will get messy again. Psychopaths cry “abuse,” but, in the end, you’re the only one being abused.

6. You feel the need to explain basic human emotions to them.

You’ll find yourself attempting to explain emotions like empathy and kindness, guided by the thought that if they understand why you’re hurt, they’ll stop hurting you. You are not the first person who has attempted to see the good in them, and you will not be the last. They behave this way because they know that it hurts you.

There’s only one way out of these arguments. You need to disengage!

Arguments with psychopaths leave you drained. You might spend hours, even days, obsessing over the argument. If you think you have the perfect response to their latest outrageous comment, they planted it there on purpose. They’re trying to provoke you. They’re trying to draw you in.

In professional environments, they want you to blow up so that coworkers and superiors see you as unstable. In romantic settings, they want you to lash out so that they can use your “hysterical” reactions to show potential partners and exes how crazy you’ve become. Until we understand this, we’ll continue to fall into their trap.

So next time someone you’re arguing with uses these tactics to draw you in, try a different strategy: simply smile, nod, and go live your life.

They don’t deserve another second of your time.

Wondering if you might know a psychopath? Try taking our 13-question quiz:

Thanks to PsychopathFree.com for this post | Featured image source

7 thoughts on “6 Signs You’re Arguing With A Sociopath, Narcissist, Or Psychopath

  • September 10, 2016 at 3:03 am

    My 43 years old daughter is a sociopath and she have a 10 years old daughter who I’m afraid to learn from her to get her ways. She drive me crazy every day and I’m becoming a very angry and sick person because of her all of the above behaviors, I don’t know how to deal with her or how to help my granddaughter or help my self. Any body can tell me how to deal with her? Please help. Thanks

  • September 9, 2016 at 8:45 pm

    I was with one for 17 years and it took 3 years to divorce him I walked away with what was important to me my kids, my pets and my sanity every less can be replaced. If you meet one run for the hills!

  • April 26, 2016 at 9:31 am

    Having been raised by a sociopathic stepfather, and dated a string a abusive men, I got therapy and learned the signs of a potential abuser. Holy crap, let me tell you how quickly I walk away. Blocking them is a lot easier than it used to be.

    I jokingly say this, but it’s actually almost true. At the first sign of red flag behaviors, I RUN SCREAMING FROM THE BUILDING!!!!!!
    That’s been the biggest help. Just leave. Don’t look back. Don’t collect $200.

    If I get bothered, I bring in the big guns. I threaten to call police, and if necessary call the police. I will NOT be abused anymore.

    It’s scary at first when leaving. But they thrive on our fear. It fuels them. No contact is the best. Enforce it!!! Be strong, and never EVER trust them again, or talk alone with them.

  • April 26, 2016 at 3:32 am

    Fire him and get a new doctor. You could also file a complaint with the college of physicians and surgeons.

  • April 24, 2016 at 11:53 am

    So true! Unfortunately after 5 months of dealing with my 6yr old sons oncologist I am under the distinct impression he is a sociopath.
    He now has complete control over treating my son.
    Heart broken ?

  • April 23, 2016 at 11:08 pm

    Amazingly accurate!!

    Thanks Raven

  • April 23, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    So what do you do if you dated a phycopath and want them to leave you alone?
    Sort of worried this person might not get it when I say leave me alone.

Comments are closed.