It was recently brought to our attention that animal adoptions slump severely every year right after Christmas, and that just broke our hearts.We decided to think of a creative way we could help fix this problem. So, to try and help some cute little critters find forever homes, we went down to the local shelter and gave all the animals haircuts inspired by South African Rap/Rave duo Die Antwoord. Honestly, we probably did more harm than good.
People want pets that look like themselves and celebrities, right? Why doesn’t anyone want this dog?
Seriously, we really need some help here. I guess when the haircuts didn’t look like we were expecting we shouldn’t have doubled down and shaved so many dollar signs on the side of the cats. We were worried people wouldn’t get the Die Antwoord connection, the “$$” is like “¥O-LANDI VI$$ER.” You get it, right?
We think she looks cute, in her own way, doesn’t she?
We shouldn’t have all gone to the shelter at once. We probably would’ve just ruined one or two animals chances for adoption if just a couple of us went. But when you run a punk lifestyle blog almost everyone moonlights as a barber or tattoo artist, and we get really excited about things like this.
This is a no-kill shelter, right? God we should’ve quit while we were ahead, we don’t even know who brought the hair-dye.
Please, just tag someone, we’ll cover the fees. We probably should’ve have asked the shelter to reimburse us for all the clippers we fucked up in the process, but you know how it is.
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE!
Seriously someone, ANYONE, adopt this puppy. It took a long time to get this weave in and it’ll sure as hell love you more than it loves us.
Article by Dan Luberto @TheDanLuberto. (No animals were harmed in the making of this satirical article. Yes, satire.)